The Jay Graves Report

The REAL reason why the refs aren’t protectin’ Cam Newton bruh! “Feathers”

"I wish you would try to take my feathers out Jay!"

Oscar Wilde, the Irish playwright, once said, “I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.” Konrad Adenauer, the German statesman, gave it to us like this, “In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.” Then Bill Watterson, the famous cartoonist, broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, “I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?”

Well playas…that’s what Cam Newton was askin’ a boy after Sunday’s win against Arizona 30-20. “Why isn’t this joint unfair in my favor?” Durin’ his post-game press conference ole boy was hot about not bein’ protected by the refs. He’s been gettin’ abused all season long with late hits, hits to the head and low cheap shots too. Here’s what he had to say about this foolishness.

“It’s really taking the fun out of the game for me — honestly, it really is. At times, I don’t even feel safe. Enough is enough. I plan on talking to commissioner Goodell about this. It’s not fun, and I don’t know what I have to do.”

Ole boy really got extremely hot on a third and goal from the Arizona 2-yard line when Calias Campbell came in low at his knees just as he was releasin’ the football. Cam said, “I could have torn an ACL. That was the breaking point for me.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Stevie Wonder, Helen Keller and Blind Mellow Jelly can see that boyz aren’t really messin’ with Cam like that. In other words, for all of my suburban and rural type cats that can’t follow the lingo, everybody, includin’ blind folks, can see that the refs aren’t tryin’ to protect him.

That dun is gettin’ targeted on darn near every play and the refs have on a ski mask with sun glasses and Fetty Wap’s eye patch. They’re actin’ like they can’t see it bruh. He’s already missed a game due to a concussion from what boyz deemed a legal head to head hit. He was hit at least four times in the head in the season opener against Denver and they only called one penalty in that game. There has only been one roughin’ the passer penalty called in regards to him all season long and that was in the opener against the Broncos.

I’m tellin’ you bruh, he’s gonna snap like Andrew Luck is in a minute. I just wish somebody would snap those darn turkey feathers out of that hat he wore to the press conference on Sunday. Did you see what that dun had on? If he’d stop wearin’ that foolishness the refs might start givin’ him some calls. But on some real talk, he’s the big bad cocky black dude that was dabbin’ too much last year and acted a fool in the press conference after the Super Bowl. And now they’re tryin’ to teach him lesson. You can act like I didn’t just say something if you want to bruh. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) Blind Mellow Jelly: noun – character in an episode of the sitcom Sanford and Son.

5) Fetty Wap: noun – rapper that is blind in one eye that wears an eye patch on occasion.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!