The Jay Graves Report

The REAL reason Kobe announced his retirement bruh! “Olivia Pope”

"I know how to get these boyz off of me bruh!"

Albert Einstein once said, “Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.” Jackie Robinson gave it to us like this, “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” Then Henri Frederic Amiel, the 19th century Swiss moral philosopher, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, “There is no respect for others without humility in one’s self.” 


Well playas…if you’re a basketball fan you’ve got to respect the game and the duns that play it at the highest level against the best in the world. So when one of the greatest players to EVER live, Kobe Bean Bryant, OFFICIALLY announces that he’s hangin’ up the sneakers at the end of the season you gotta tip your hat. Ole boy wrote a poem on Sunday expressin’ his undying love for the game by sayin’ this,  “This season is all I have left to give. My heart can take the pounding. My mind can handle the grind but my body knows it’s time to say goodbye. And that’s OK. I’m ready to let you go.” 


Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Kobe is one of the greatest players to EVER lace them up playboy. He’s a Top 5 player with no question just gettin’ out of the bed! After puttin’ in work for 20 years and winnin’ two Olympic gold medals, five NBA championships, havin’ 17 All-Star selections, an 81-point game that ranks as the second-best in NBA history and droppin’ more than 32,000 points you’ve gotta be a complete fool to say otherwise. So when it comes to his game you’ve got to respect the Mamba. 


But if we gone keep it 100 and that’s what I do playa! The ONLY reason this dun announced on Sunday that he was officially retirin’ was to back boyz up off of him because he’s out here makin’ a complete fool of himself RIGHT NOW. He’s been in the game for 20 years but both you and I know that the announcement is 3 years past due. Why? Because the Mamba is hard headed wouldn’t listen to his body and duns tellin’ him that he’s a shell of himself 3 years ago when he strong armed the Lakers for an additional $24M! 


I’ve been tellin’ you boyz for the past three years that Kobe needed to step aside and let these young boyz do their thang but he still forced his way into the gym on a boy. He completely robbed the Lakers of $78M over the past two seasons and now this one. So when he shows up and shoots 1-15, shoots a boy over the backboard or goes 4-20 like he did on Sunday night against the Pacers it’s joke city. Boyz are gonna talk about him like he’s the old cats at the cage hoopin’ in his street shoes with some thick and thins on. 


Kobe has treated so many boyz in the league with disrespect for so long that now that he’s out here lookin’ like Ole Otis in shorts he’s becomin’ the butt of jokes. Come on bruh, I’m only sayin’ what everybody that covers this league already knows but won’t say. Kobe Bryant is the biggest jerk in the NBA and nobody likes him. It only became publicly evident when NOBODY wanted to go to LA in the summer of 2014. Something that I had been tellin’ boyz for 2 years prior to it happenin’. “NOBODY’S GOIN’ TO LA IN FREE AGENCY!!” Why because NOBODY wants to play with that dun because he’s a rectum. And that’s the edited version. 


So when you keep tellin’ boyz that you’re the No.1 option! That you want the rock at all times and all of the bread ($24M/yr the highest salary in the NBA) even though you KNOW you can’t play every night or practice every day it becomes a problem with other people. Now boyz aren’t gonna say it to his face but when he goes 1-15 or shoot that joint over the backboard they’re goin’ to clown him for it and unfortunately, it becomes personal. 


Therefore, when the clownin’ got to be way too much to deal with he announced his retirement so that boyz can stop blastin’  him to give him his props for the rest of the year. He must have called Olivia Pope and she advised him to do it because otherwise, it was gonna be a LONG season that wasn’t gonna end well. The longer he denied his mortality the more these young boyz were goin’ to line up to make a name for themselves. 


So before some of these young thunder cats took advantage of him he told the world that he was finished. Now they’ll cut him some slack and give him the reverence that he deserves on his way out. So that dunk or crossover that he was gonna get from a boy, he won’t get now. 

Let me give you some street knowledge bruh! This entire world operates off of the rules of the streets! If you disrespect the streets, the streets will disrespect you. When Kobe kept tellin’ the world that he was still the No.1 option at 37 years old he was disrespectin’ the games and all the young players in it. Therefore, boyz couldn’t wait to give it to him. 

However, once he decided to give the game it’s respect then the young hustlas in it will back off. It’s the streets bruh!  
See Olivia got in his ear on Sunday mornin’ and said, “You don’t wanna go out like a sucka like Jordan did! He was hard headed too and didn’t believe that Father Time was undefeated. Listen to the words that are comin’ out of my mouth! One of these young boyz is gonna embarrass you if you don’t tell ’em that you’re retirin’ at the end of the season. I’m tellin’ you that they will! Trust me on this!” 


See boyz wanna act like they didn’t see Jordan in a Wizards uniform when he couldn’t get up and down the floor. When he couldn’t dunk and play defense but I do. He made a fool of himself and Kobe doesn’t want that. So he had no choice but to announce that he was on the next train smokin’ after the season is over because these young boyz were lickin’ their chops waitin’ to take a bite out of him. Now because he showed respect for the game they’ll be standin’ in line to shake his hand. 

I’ve got TALL respect for Kobe Bryant not just because he was one of the Top 5 to ever play the game but because he was man enough to FINALLY admit that Father Time is still undefeated. Stop me when I start lyin’! 


Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Cage: noun – the basketball court in the projects in the hood that is surrounded by a fence.  known as the cage bruh. 

4) Thick and Thins: noun – old school dress socks that are both thick and thin. boyz also called them Pimp socks. 

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!