The Jay Graves Report

The dull Leprechaun gets bucked by Bevo and the homies! “Back!!!”

"Give me that bruh!!!"

Steven Pressfield, the author, once said, “All of us need to begin to think in terms of our own inner strengths, our resilience and resourcefulness, our capacity to adapt and to rely upon ourselves and our families.” James Cascio, the famous writer, gave it to us like this, “Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” Then Jean Chatzky, the financial journalist, put it where the goats could get it when she spit, “Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.”

Well playas…the Texas Longhorns emphasized the positive on Saturday night as they George Jefferson pimp walked out of the locker to host No.10 Notre Dame. In order to bounce back from two dull losin’ seasons to start Charlie Strong’s tenure in Austin it was mandatory to “Move on Up!” So as the dull Leprechaun came in fresh off of “ridin’ dirty” with the Notre Dame fightin’ Chamillionaires, Bevo bucked that dun 50-47 in double overtime!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson, thought that Notre Dame would roll into town, beat the brakes off of Texas like they didn’t last year in South Bend. Well, everybody but Ya Boy!! I told you boyz in my “College Football Weekly Preview: Week 1”  that Texas was still Texas bruh! They still had athletes! They still had talent! They still have 100K plus in the buildin’, football was king in the state of Texas and Charlie Strong would get his signature win on Sunday night! And that they did! Y’all better start listenin’ to me playa. These fake media-types are too conservative with their picks.

With all the pressure these duns have been puttin’ on Strong to win or else. He pulled a power move to let these boyz that he’s in charge and knows what he’s doin’! He started a true freshman at quarterback in one of the biggest games in Austin. Do you know what that means bruh? That dun was in high school two months ago ridin’ that darn yellow bus home.

Shane Buechele was the first true freshman to start at quarterback in Austin since Bobby Lane did it in 1944!!! And he broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention wearin’ a burnt orange suit with some burnt orange gators drivin’ a 1975 Coupe de Ville with the sun roof cracked and a diamond in the back. Ole boy put up 280 yards passin’ and two touchdowns! A freshman?? That dun’s gonna need counselin’ this week bruh! Can you imagine the fame that kid is havin’ right now in TEXAS? NUTS!!!

Tyrone Swoopes the senior QB that lost his job to Buechele didn’t wallow in self pity though. He played like a G at hood picnic lungin’ for the winnin’ touchdown!!! Even though he didn’t start he played his role like Scottie Pippen on a boy! He rushed 13 times for 53 yards and scored 3 touchdowns. Get that dun some counselin’ too!!! He’s the freakin’ man in Austin right now!

While all of this foolishness is goin’ on Bevo is talkin’ $100 worth of noise with a brand new wave cap on, a square hangin’ out of his mouth with some burnt orange robe and house shoes on teachin’ his son how to roll the dice with the homies. The dull Leprechuan comes over still smellin’ like weed from ridin’ dirty a few weeks ago tryin’ to take over the game. Boyz weren’t havin’ it and took his brand new pointed toe green Stacy Adams knobs off of his feet and sent him back to South Bend with his feelings hurt! TEXAS is BACK!!!

They showed a lot of resilience and this is the type of ball game that resurrects a program! You already know that Texas is goin’ to bounce back because the tradition says that it will! It’s Texas!! It’s no different than, Michigan, Oklahoma, USC, Alabama, Florida State etc, etc, etc. The roots are already deep in the ground and the soil is ripe. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) Chamillionaire: noun – rapper that had a song called Ridin’ Dirty.

5) Ms. Jackson: noun – rap song by super group OutKast