The Jay Graves Report

The Cubs pulled a sucker move on Steve Bartman and he fell for it! “A Darn Ring?”

"Sure I'll take it! Even though my life has been ruined."

On Monday afternoon the Chicago Cubs pulled the ultimate sucker move on a boy and he fell for it hook, line and sinker. Some 14 years after the Cubs and it’s fan base threw Steve Bartman under the bus for interferin’ with a foul ball durin’ Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS against the Florida Marlins they threw the dun a bone and he went for it. In owner Tom Ricketts’ office at about noon on Monday the Cubs organization gave Bartman a World Series ring to make up for all of the foolishness that ole boy’s been through since the unfortunate incident. Ricketts dropped this statement,

“On behalf of the entire Chicago Cubs organization, we are honored to present a 2016 World Series Championship Ring to Mr. Steve Bartman. We hope this provides closure on an unfortunate chapter of the story that has perpetuated throughout our quest to win a long-awaited World Series. While no gesture can fully lift the public burden he has endured for more than a decade, we felt it was important Steve knows he has been and continues to be fully embraced by this organization. After all he has sacrificed, we are proud to recognize Steve Bartman with this gift today.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If I were Steve Bartman I would have told Ricketts where he could put that ring! After 14 years of boyz all over that city throwin’ me under the bus when everybody in that freakin’ section had their hands out tryin’ to catch that ball too? At least three or four cats could have easily caught that ball because they were reachin’ for it with the same intensity as Bartman. However, everybody pointed at him because he was the nerd in the Cubs hat with earphones and glasses. He was the easy target bruh!

However, the Cubs did nothin’ to quell the foolishness and they just let the entire fan base blast this dude for years!!! He wasn’t any of the duns on the field that gave up the two additional outs and then turned around and lost Game 7!!! But everybody and their baby’s momma around that piece let Bartman take the fall for that foolishness instead of blamin’ the sorry Cubs for losin’ the series. Steve didn’t get not one at bat nor did he play in the field and make, like boyz used to say, “AM” error to give up additional runs the rest of Game 6 or 7!!!

He didn’t continue the drought for the next 13 years bruh no more than he was responsible for the entire 108 year drought. But boyz let Bartman take the blame for the Cubs bein’ the darn Cubs and now you want to give that man a freakin’ ring that he can’t do nothin’ with? He can’t wear it! He didn’t earn it! He’ll look like a sucker puttin’ it on and plus, somebody’s goin’ to take it right off of him as soon as he shows up with it on. Why? Because he’s Steve Bartman!! The same dun that allowed everybody to blame him for the sorry Cubs losin’ a game that he didn’t play in.

If you wanna do something for that man give him several million dollars for the turmoil and anguish he suffered through because you’re darn team sucked for the next 13 years and he took the blame for it!! That dun’s been livin’ underground like the kids on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and you show up with a darn ring? Are your kiddin’ me? Boyz have been pullin’ the seat out from under him for years, knockin’ his books outta his hands and kickin’ him in the butt and all you’ve got is a darn ring? Batman’s gotta be outta his mind to have even answered the phone unless a boy was talkin’ 7 or 8 figures. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: noun – movie from 1968 where kids weren’t allowed to live in the city so they put them underground.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!