The Jay Graves Report

The Cowboys turned out to be the same ole Cowboys bruh! “Predictable”

"Too easy bruh!"

Chet Atkins, the musician and songwriter, once said, “Once you become predictable, no one’s interested anymore.” Eleanor Roosevelt broke it down like this, “If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.” Then Bill Bradley put it where the goats could get it when he spit, “Imagination allows us to escape the predictable. It enables us to reply to the common wisdom that we cannot soar by saying, ‘Just watch!'”

Well playas… as much as the Dallas Cowboys had the world hyped up to make a run to the Super Bowl they turned out to be the same ole dull Cowboys. On Sunday in the divisional playoff game at AT&T Stadium, Jerry’s World, they wet the bed, soiled the mattress and bellied up in a 34-31 loss to the Green Bay Packers.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Dak Prescott and the ENTIRE Dallas offense put in work!!! The defense got beaten up in front of Miss Johnson’s house for just bein’ there!! They couldn’t stop a nose bleed with a blanket and a cork bruh!!!

How can the offense get into a rhythm when the defense is gettin’ gashed all night long? It was 21-3 after a quarter and a half of football!!! Boyz hadn’t even started sweatin’ and they were 18 points in the hole. The Packers scored on their first three possessions on the road bruh!! Their punter didn’t get dressed until after the second quarter had started. The corners for Dallas were horrible.

Here’s the crazy thing about this game. Even after the horrible defensive output the Cowboys still had a shot at winnin’ the ball game. Don’t look at Dak and the duns on offense bruh! They showed up and showed out. They controlled the time of possession, they put up more total yards 429 vs. 414 and out rushed the Packers 138 vs. 87. Dak gave a boy 302 yards and 3 touchdowns with one dull pick. Aaron Rogers threw a pick too. So the turnovers were a wash. Dak’s QB rating was 103.2 vs Aaron Rogers’ joint at 96.7!! In other words, Dak showed his butt!! And that’s the edited version.

Zeke? Aw he and Dez Bryant came through with Big Momma’s bottle of gin and that Peach Ciroc. Zeke rushed for 125 yards on 22 carries and Dez hit a boy up for 132 yards on just 9 catches!! So don’t even try to look sideways at the offense playa. It might be a fight up in this piece if you say that the offense could have done more. What more could they have done? They scored 31 points!!!

The Cowboys corner’s were atrocious and shouldn’t even be paid for that foolishness!

So gettin’ back to bein’ predictable. The Cowboys turned out to be the same ole Cowboys. They went dull when everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson, was tryin’ to give them the benefit of the doubt. Boyz, includin’ me, were like, “I know that it’s the Cowboys but they’ve been ballin’ all season bruh! They can’t go dull now! Dak and Zeke’s been too much. They can’t be stopped.” Then reality hit everybody in the face. The Cowboys are the same ole Cowboys! Congrats to Aaron Rogers and the Green Bay Packers for takin’ care of business. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!