The Jay Graves Report

The Colts are already a HOT mess bruh! “Again”

"This foolishness again?"

William Arthur Ward once said, “It is wise to direct your anger towards problems – not people; to focus your energies on answers – not excuses.” Benjamin Franklin gave it to us like this, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Then Mason Cooley put it where the goats could get it when he spit, “Excuses change nothing, but make everyone feel better.” 

 Well playas…we haven’t even started the NFL season and the Colts are already primin’ us full of excuses as to why they’ll stink in 2016!! The primary excuse, which is legitimate, is that everybody’s hurt. Besides everybody and their baby’s momma in the defensive secondary bein’ snake bitten the offensive line is a mess too. On Saturday offensive guard, Jack Mewhort, went down with a knee injury that will sideline him for 2-4 weeks and the rest of those duns looked to be drunk drivin’.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Last year the Colts couldn’t protect Andrew Luck with a Trojan condom bruh. That dun ended up with a partially torn abdominal muscle and a lacerated kidney foolin’ around with that offensive line. Doctors said that he looked like someone in a car accident. Did they really pay Anthony Castonzo $43 million with $35 million GUARANTEED?
So fast forward to the preseason of 2016 playa after Luck’s been made the highest paid player in NFL HISTORY!!! He’s still out there runnin’ for his freakin’ life like he’s in the Thriller video.
 With Mewhort gettin’ banged up late in the first half they were already without Joe Reitz who is out with a back injury. Then they had two rookies, Le’Ravon Clark at right tackle and Ryan Kelly at center, tryin’ to figure it out. In all of the confusion Luck gets sacks 3 times and hit 9 times all in the first half bruh!! And this is the preseason!!!
The defense can’t hold water, Andrew Luck is already in a full out sprint for his life and they can’t run the football to save their lives! Yeah, I know that it’s the preseason but there hasn’t been a single bright spot in this foolishness yet. Everybody’s hurt and the duns that are playin’ seem to be just goin’ through the motions. It’s gonna be a long season of “Well…we didn’t play as well as we would have like today but we’ll get ‘um next week” press conferences. Dull!!! Stop me when I start lyin’!
 Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.