The Jay Graves Report

Security guard pulls an Old Otis on fan for grabbin’ a live ball! “What Cha Say Der Boa!”

"You tryin' to br slick der boa?" Photo: ESPN

Every now and then you run into a boy that takes his job way too seriously! Old Otis from the Martin Lawrence show is the first cat that comes to mind!! The second cat is the security guard at the darn Atlanta Braves game! On Wednesday night this dun went way overboard and showed like my momma used to say, “His bare bottom!” 

In the bottom of the eighth inning between the Braves and the Pirates at SunTrust Park with Atlanta leadin’ 4-3. Rio Ruiz hit a ball down the right field line. It was close but it stayed fair. That’s when a fan reached over the outfield wall with his glove and swooped the ball up. Then all of a sudden this dun comes runnin’ in like Caption Save a…! Actin’ like he owns the joint! He’s snappin’ and tryin’ to kick ole boy that picked up the ball out of the park. The dun had already given the ball to some kid that was like 4 or 5 years old nearby. It was probably his own kid. Old Otis takes the ball out of the kid’s hands like he needs it for evidence or something.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Why is this cat tryin’ to act like he’s goin’ to get a promotion for chasin’ down a boy for grabbin’ a stupid ball?  Wheredeydodatat?

I can hear him now in his Old Otis voice, “What cha say der boa? You got problems not followin’ da rules der boa? You know I can put cha out der boa! You know dat don’t cha der boa? Comin’ up in here tryin’ to be all slick grabbin’ live balls der boa! You know what I do to boyz tryin’ to be slick der boa? I break um down der boa! Now git on outta here boa before I have to put that thang on ya der boa!”   

That’s called doin’ way too much! They’ll have that dun guardin’ the popcorn tonight you better believe that! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for “Who does that?”

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!