The Jay Graves Report

Scott Dixon needs to read the Hood Survival Handbook before goin’ on a food run! “Naked”

"Gotcha! Thanks for the information!" Photo: Fox News

Bruh…everybody and their Uncle Leroy is talkin’ about 2017 Indianapolis 500 Pole winner Scott Dixon, his wife and Dario Fanchitti gettin’ robbed at gunpoint at the Taco Bell not far from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Some idiot kids ages 14 and 15, who are now in custody, shoved a gun in their faces and swiped Dixon’s wife’s purse and kept it movin’ while they were in the Drive-thru lane of the restaurant.

As terrible and as sad as the situation was it was completely avoidable. It’s called havin’ some hood survival skills or knowin’ where to go when.

Let’s it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Where are the duns at the race track that know the city? Ninety-nine percent of cats at the track live in Indy and know that goin’ left out of the track takes you to Haughville. For y’all that don’t know, that’s ANY HOOD, USA! Goin’ right takes you to Speedway which is much safer.

Everybody that has spent at least one day at the freakin’ track should know that. So when a dun says, “I’m rollin’ through the drive thru to grab something to eat at night.” The first question should have been, “Where you goin bruh?” Taco Bell! Naw playa, you can’t go to Taco Bell at night and as a matter of fact you don’t need to go to Haughville at all if you don’t know the city. If you know the city then you already know that you can’t roll up clueless.

Then the second mistake that the duns made was that the windows were down. Rule No.4 in the Hood Survival Handbook says, “Never pull up in the Drive-Thru unsecured!” That’s a prime location to get robbed because it’s normally in the back or the side of the buildin’ and boyz hide in the bushes or behind the garbage dumpster etc. If your window is down or door is unlocked it’s too easy to get got. That’s hood for too easy to get robbed. Keep up with me playa.

How do I know that the freakin’ window was down? Because accordin’ to an IMPD report, Dixon told them that two young males approached his vehicle in the drive-thru lane, shoved a gun in the window and stole his wife’s purse.

He didn’t say that they broke the window bruh! He said that they shoved the gun in the window. So that means that they were naked. Naked means that they were rollin’ with the window down. Keep up with me bruh I can’t keep slowin’ down to explain this to you. Huge mistake while rollin’ through the hood and sittin’ still.

Now all of the drivers are goin’ to go out and waste a fortune on security when they don’t need to. Just go right out of the track to get something to eat and don’t ride around with the darn windows down. Tell you what, just pay me to go over to the track to teach them survival skills while they’re in town for the Indy 500 instead of hirin’ additional security and wastin’ all of that bread!! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Naked: verb – to ride around unsecured, to make it easy to get robbed.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!

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