The Jay Graves Report

Sarkisian gets opportunity that a black coach would NEVER get! “Book It”

"Give me some time playboy! I'll be back in two years!"

Oscar Wilde, the famous London playwright of the early 1890’s once wrote, “I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.” Abraham Lincoln spoke like a real G when he spit, “These men ask for just the same thing, fairness, and fairness only. This, so far as in my power, they, and all others, shall have.”

Well playas…The more things change in this country the more they remain the same. Opportunities for white coaches in major college football remains plentiful. While that same opportunity for black coaches keeps catchin’ the bus out of town. On Monday the University of Alabama announced that ole dull Steve Sarkisian has been hired as an analyst on their staff. As an analyst ole boy can watch practice and game film and provide overall input on the direction of the team as well as the game plan. He can’t go out on the field and coach but he’s heavily involved.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! In real hood terms, Bama is bringin’ that dun in slowly so that he doesn’t become a public relations nightmare. In their minds Bama will just let that dun hang around in the background for a season until boyz forget he was a complete fool just a year ago. They’re thinkin’, hopefully boyz forget that dun showed up last August sloppy drunk at the USC Annual Kick Off dinner cussin’ and talkin’ crazy to all of the big time alumni and boosters! They’ll forget that he told a boy that he mixed his Mad 20/20 with his Cialis to make him trip the way he did. Now I have no idea what type of liquor or pills Sark says he mixed before the kick off event but Mad Dog 20/20 and Cialis was too funny to pass up playa.

Bama is also hopin’ that we’ll forget that he showed up to team meetings full of that snake oil and boyz wouldn’t let him go on the field with the team even after the Annaual Kickoff Event bruh. Did I mention that he stayed lit at the University of Washington even before he showed his butt at USC? But this dun has another job at a big time program today!! Wheredeydodatat?

Now when brothers start hollerin’ that it’s not fair out here. Boyz on the sidelines wanna shout that we’re just makin’ all of this foolishness up. Well let me put it where the goats can get it playboy. In the history of college football there have been only one African-American head coach to get fired and find another job at the FBS level and that was Ty Willingham. Outrageous!! Now I realize that Sark isn’t a head coach but he’s back on the move toward gettin’ one of those jobs playa. Trust me on that.

Ty was fired at Notre Dame and was then hired at Washington. That’s mind blowin’ bruh considerin’ that more than 70% of the players look like him! Remember when ole boy Mike Haywood had just been hired by Pitt from Miami of Ohio and durin’ the Christmas holiday he got into it with his baby’s momma. He was charged with domestic violence and then all of the charges were later dropped when the truth came out. That dun can’t fry chicken in major college football now. He’s had 10 to 12 head coachin’ jobs none of which hired him. He finally got a job at Texas Southern, which plays in the FCS, this year. That foolishness happened 6 years ago bruh!

The sad reality is that it’s never been fair and people try to act like brothers are just makin’ this ignorance up. However, when a dun like Gene Chizik was hired at Auburn he was 5-7 at Iowa State the year before. His overall record with the Cyclones was 5-19 but he was hired over Turner Gill who had just won the conference title at Buffalo!

Sure, ole dull Gene won a national title two years later but do you think it was because he learned how to coach or was it the stud at quarterback that he landed for one year? He still can’t coach and that has been proven since Cam Newton left for the NFL. Unfortunately, black coaches don’t get the opportunity to redeem themselves like ole dull Bobby Petrino, Gene Chizik or Mike Price did after bein’ hired at UTEP even after the whole stripper scandal at Alabama. Boyz have already forgotten that Price was at Alabama for all of a few months and had yet to sign his 7 year $10 million contract when they fired him.


The table of opportunity doesn’t always get prepared to feed everybody and especially African-American college football coaches. The hirin’ numbers over the years have been staggerin’ to say the least. By 1994 there were only 2 black head coaches out of 120 jobs at the FBS level. In 2002 the numbers exploded to an unbelievable… 4! In 2012 there were 15 and in 2016 there are only 12 coaches walkin the sidelines out of 128 schools.

So when I see duns like Steve Sarkisian slidin’ in through the back door gettin’ prepped for the next job it’s disturbin’. In less than one year he’s back on somebody’s college campus workin’! That’s dull any kind of way you slice it bruh! Do you actually think that a black coach could show up drunk talkin’ crazy to the boosters and alumni and get a pass only to be fired after the third offense in the same season? And then turn around and be workin’ on another big time college campus at any point in his life EVER again? Not a chance.

Sit in the cut bruh, Sark will be somebody’s coordinator this time next year and he’ll be a head coach in 2018. Book it! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!