The Jay Graves Report

Reuben Foster forgot he wasn’t in the South and almost got dealt with! “0-60”


One of my homeboys, Royce Bradley, has said for years that “Life is a thinking man’s game!” Well playas…former University of Alabama linebacker Reuben Foster obviously didn’t think on Friday night when he got into with a hospital worker at the NFL Combine. However, once the NFL snatched that dun up and sent him to the crib he started thinkin’ about all of the bread he was about to lose. Not to mention Big Momma was probably sittin’ at his crib in Tuscaloosa by the time he got off of the plane ready to curse him up one wall and down the other.

Ole boy sent a dull letter to all 32 of the NFL teams apologizin’ for his foolishness on Friday accordin’ to NFL Network confirmed by ESPN and my mans and nem. Now boyz are tryin’ to clean this foolishness up by sayin’ that there was a “miscommunication” that allowed this ignorance to escalate between ole boy and the dun from the hospital accordin’ to a league source.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The word is, Foster got mad because he had to wait an extended period of time for what the NFL called a “pre-exam” and said something crazy to the dun from the hospital. Ole boy from the hospital in my hood vernacular, “wasn’t no punk” and got at that fool. That’s why they were in each other’s face. It went from 0-60mph just like that bruh. That’s why you can’t afford to start talkin’ crazy to a boy that you don’t know.

I guess Reuben thought that he was goin’ to roll up this way talkin’ crazy to boyz like he does down in Alabama because everybody down there is kissin’ he and his teammates’ butts because they run things in the south. Well playboy, this ain’t the south and nobody cares about Alabama football up this way. Like we always said in The G, “You come up here with that foolishness and you gone get dealt with.” 

Once Foster got back to Tuscaloosa he shoots this statement out on social media, “Everything ain’t perfect. I’m good. I just have to think. I just had to sit back and relax and think about what I really want.”

What he really wanted on Friday night was to blow several million dollars and get dealt with by a dun that works at the hospital. He must have forgotten that he was in a sling after havin’ rotator-cuff surgery. All ole boy had to do was hit him in that shoulder or twist that arm back. That’s just an old hood move right there. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun or ole boy: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) My mans and nem: noun – unnamed sources

3) To get at: verb – to step to a person for talkin’ crazy to them, to not back down.

4) The G: noun – Gary, Indiana

5) To get dealt with: verb phrase – to get beat down for disrespectin’ a boy.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!