The Jay Graves Report

Now we can all stop foamin’ at the mouth! IT’S GAME TIME! “Warriors or Cavs?”

"The moment we've all been waitin' for playas is now here! In my Snoop Dogg voice, "So sit back relax and strap on your seat belts."

Boyz have been walkin’ around like some crackheads for what seems like an eternity feinin’ for the NBA Finals! Well playboys and girls…it’s finally game time!! Game 1 is tonight and everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson, has been foamin’ at the mouth to tip that joint off!! The moment we’ve all been waitin’ for since that Philistine and Co. pulled off the biggest upset in Finals history last June to come back from bein’ down 3-1 to win the NBA Championship in Oakland!! That was NUTS!!!

After seein’ that foolishness take place last year no way am I countin’ out Cleveland even when it’s seems impossible for them to win this joint because Golden State essentially got better and Cleveland on paper hasn’t. But there are several factors that tell me that Cleveland can win this joint “If” they can get to seven games playa!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Golden State has the better team. Why? Because they spread the floor better than any team we’ve ever seen before. Four of the five of their starters can shoot the three and create their own shot. They average 118 points per game and they’re lethal when that joint is fallin’! They’ve added Kevin Durant to an already potent offense. Advantage Golden State!

Here’s the problem I have with these duns though!! First of all, there is no Steve Kerr at least for Game 1 and he’s day to day for the remainder of the series. So let’s keep it real, that dun isn’t coachin’ in this series. Stop with the foolishness!! So Mike Brown has the keys to the Bentley and it’s been easy thus far because there hasn’t been any traffic on the road. Now it’s about to be rush hour traffic in a ran storm. Advantage Cleveland even though Ty Lou isn’t coachin’ any better but he’s been on the sideline all season and won the joint last year so he’s won’t be overwhelmed by the moment. AND LeBron is coachin’ from the floor.

I keep hearin’ duns talk about the shootin’ of Steph Curry but for the past two Finals we’ve seen him disappear on a boy! Amber Alert, milk carton status! So they can’t depend on ole boy to carry them. I’ve been sayin’ since November that this is OFFICIALLY KD’s team! So today he’s gotta make it official to the rest of the world! If Golden State is goin’ to win this series Durant has to be able to carry these boyz!! No ifs, ands or buts about it. Yeah, I know that he’s got shooters on the floor with him but he’s gotta be able to show out every night.

Oh, it’s Chris Brown up in this piece bruh, “On and Poppin’!”

Well patna…I don’t see that happenin’ with that Philistine leanin’ on him for possibly seven games. KD’s got fire power and skillz to get it down but can he do it with a dun that weighs 260 lbs. leanin’ on him all series long. Advantage Cleveland.

The Philistine on both ends of the floor! We saw him lead both teams in points, rebounds, assists, blocks and steals in last year’s Finals. Golden State still doesn’t have an answer for him. He can get buckets any kind of way he wants. That’s a problem especially when Kyrie is playin’ the way he’s playin’ right now. Kevin Love is not only shootin’ the rock but he’s reboundin’ the ball as well. When you’ve got a monster like LeBron that can get to the rack at will and you’ve got duns like Kyrie, Love and Korver that can knock down shots it’s a problem. Advantage Cleveland.

When the Warriors are purrin’ like a kitten from three they’re impossible to beat! You already know that they’ll have at least two ball games in this joint where they won’t miss a shot seems like. So Advantage Golden State for at least two nearly perfect games from behind the arc.

So what does this foolishness come down to bruh? It comes down to KD bein’ able to show out every night to battle that Philistine. If he can out play him and keep it to at least 6 games he’ll get out of the joint with a title. If LeBron and Co. can push it to seven games Cleveland wins it because NOBODY can stop LeBron when the dun is pushed to the brink. Always keep in mind Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals vs. Boston in 2012 when the dun went bananas? He scored 45 points and pulled down 15 rebounds against KG and Co to survive. Oh did I already mention Game 7 of the 2016 NBA Finals?

So who wins this series? Cleveland in 7 in Oakland because Golden State has no bench! They got bid of Harrison Barnes, Andrew Bogut and Leandro Barbosa! Those were the duns that kept the water out of the boat and now they aren’t there. Day-Day is bound to do something stupid and get suspended and Steph is goin’ to come up missin’, AGAIN! Cavs in seven!! Book it! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Ms. Jackson: noun – rap song by the group OutKast

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!