The Jay Graves Report

Matt Barnes lawyer pulls an ole gangsta-type joint and gets trial date pushed back!

In my Montel Jordan voice, "This is how we do it!"

When I think that I’ve heard or seen it all some dun jumps out of the birthday cake butt naked foamin’ at the mouth and completely knocks me off of my feet. Alex Spiro, the attorney for newly signed Golden State Warriors forward Matt Barnes literally walked into a Manhattan court room on Friday and asked the judge to push ole boy’z trial date back until June 27th!

Barnes is facin’ a third-degree assault charge for gettin’ into a fight back in December at Avenue a nightclub in Manhattan. He’s also charged with obstruction of breathing too. Whatever that means. But none of that is of any importance bruh! The focus here is that the dun’s attorney pulled a power move and nobody blinked.

This is what his lawyer told the judge to his face in real life. “I have reason to believe my client will be playing in the NBA Finals.”  And the judge looked at a boy and said, “Good luck!!!!”

That was some ole gangsta-type joints right there. Let me give it to you in my G.I. hood vernacular, “Listen up playa my boy is prolly gonna be playin’ in the Finals. So I need you to push that trial date back! Can you do me a solid and make that happen?” 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Matt Barnes is 36 years old bruh! Why is he still out at the club fightin’ boyz anyway? He’s a freakin’ middle age man! Think about that for a minute son. He’s 36 still gettin’ into trouble and havin’ to go to court, even if it is just a misdemeanor. Who’s still out at 3am fightin’ at that age?

Now I gave the dun a pass for beatin’ the brakes off of Derek Fisher for slidin’ up on his estranged ole lady but more importantly for comin’ through a crib that Barnes was still payin’ the bills at. And where his kids live too!! There is a code that all cats must live by playa and Fisher violated every one of them. So he got whatever Matt was bringin’ his way.

But to be out in the street fightin’ with Boogie Cousins at all hours of the mornin’ is ridiculous. The judge blew my mind tellin’ the dun good luck in the Finals though. He may as well have told him to not even worry about it. A better response to their request would have been, “Look here playa, don’t even worry about comin’ back. Sign this jersey for my son and we’ll call it even. I’ll make this foolishness go away for you.” 

I’d rather he said that than “Good luck!” Must be nice. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but it’s real talk!