The Jay Graves Report

Louisville put that thang on FSU for wettin’ the bed at Ali’s crib! “Statement”

In my Waka Flocka voice, "Oh let's do it!"

Alan Perlis, the computer scientist, once said, “Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer.” Richard Branson gave it to us like this, “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” Then Corazon Aquino, the 11th president Philippines, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, “I am not embarrassed to tell you that I believe in miracles.”

Well playas…No.2 Florida State should be embarrassed for goin’ up to Muhammad Ali’s crib wettin’ all over the bed, throwin’ up in the ride and deficatin’ on Poppa John’s field!! No.10 Louisville put that thang on ‘um and ran ‘um out of the joint 63-20!!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I told you boyz in the preview that Lamar Jackson and Co. was gonna put in work on these boyz but NOBODY saw this foolishness happenin’! Florida State had never givin’ up 60 points in school history bruh and they’ve been playin’ football since 1947! So you already know that duns like Deion Sanders, Derrick Brooks, Charlie Ward, Chris Weinke, Warrick Dunn and Famous Jameis are sittin’ on the freakin’ curb waitin’ on the team to get back to curse them up one wall and down the other like Big Momma after the school called home for the second time. You already know, on some real talk, that the old heads will be on campus Monday to put some, in my Birdman voice,  “Repeck on their names!!”  

Chief Osceola and Renegade are hangin’ out with the dull Notre Dame Leprechuan gettin’ full in the back seat of the ride wrestlin’ over the gun and the weed. Osceola’s tryin’ to end it all but the Leprechaun is tryin’ to talk him through it.

On the other hand boyz down in Louisville are about to get it in bruh!! That’s got to be the biggest home win in school history! So you already know about 2 or 3 of those clowns are about to get popped before the sun comes up Sunday mornin’! Pick one! Any one! But somebody is standin’ in line ready to go to jail because they won’t be able to handle the attention that’s comin’ with the success.

Everybody and their baby’s momma is hollerin’ at a boy now! Duns tellin’ you how good you are and how good you suddenly look! Oh, it’s about to be NUTS!!! They better get these boyz some counselin’!! That’s all I’m sayin’! And the first cat that needs to lay on the couch with Dr. Phil is Lamar Jackson!!!

He’s gone from the cat nobody knew 3 weeks ago to the Heisman frontrunner. In just 3 weeks he’s put up 18 touchdowns bruh! In three quarters against the so-called No.2 team in America he went 13-20 for 216 yards and a TD and ran for another 146 yards and 4 more TD’s!!! GET THAT BOY SOME COUNSELIN’ TONIGHT!!!! Because otherwise, he’s gonna have problems.

Now was Florida State the No.2 team in America? Obviously not!! That’s why I’ve been sayin’ for years that they should hold off on ranking these boyz until Week 4. But the dull media-types wanna sell magazines and ad space. You have no idea who’s on first and what’s on second Week 1, 2 and 3 of the season. What we DO know is that Florida State ain’t even in the Top 10 playboy!!

Keep ya eyes on Lamar Jackson and Louisville the rest of the way bruh! It just got interestin’ in the ACC! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) Gettin’ full: verb phrase – to get drunk

5) Popped: verb – to get arrested

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!

1 Comment

  1. Hey there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back often!

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