The Jay Graves Report

LeBron keeps eatin’ away at the haters ammunition! “Fa Haters Only”

"I see you hatin' bruh but Ima do me!"

Charles Simmons, the famous novelist, once said, “True greatness consists in being great in little things.” William Shakespeare gave it to us like this, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” Then William Hazlitt, the English writer, broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, “No man is truly great who is great only in his lifetime. The test of greatness is the page of history.” 

Well playas…that page just added LeBron James to a special section called “Fa Haters Only!” After he and his Cavs teammates bounced Toronto in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals 113-87 it has now become OFFICIAL that ole boy will be headed to his 6th straight NBA Finals!!! Only seven other duns have EVER done that and it’s been 50 years since it’s happened bruh!!! 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The other cats that have done it all played with Bill Russell when they went to 8 straight durin’ a time when Bill ultimately won 11 championships. Here’s what boyz don’t realize though. When the Celtics were killin’ boyz in the league back then there were only 11 freakin’ teams in the NBA and they had Bill!! 

Before you put on your playa hater’s hat, scarf and gloves think about what LeBron has done bruh. He’s taken two different franchises to the Finals on his back. He went to Miami in 2010 and took those boyz to the Ship in year one when everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson, that knew anything about sports and team chemistry figured that they wouldn’t get there at least until year two. Naw playboy, they went in year one! Then ended up goin’ 4 straight times winnin’ 2! 

He left that joint and they didn’t even sniff the playoffs the followin’ year and please don’t holler that Chris Bosh was hurt. If he takes a team to 4 straight Finals, at the very least, even without Bosh they should have made the playoffs bruh! Stop it! You sound crazy!!

Then the dun shows up in Cleveland, which was one of the worst teams in the league since he bounced in 2010 and took them straight to the Finals in year one with a bunch of bums!! Kyrie only played in regulation of Game 1 of the Finals and he missed the overtime joint. Kevin Love got WWE’d in the first round. So LeBron had these boyz on his back and at one point was up 2-1 in the series but he’s human and ran out of gas!! And now he’s back again! Are your freakin’ kidding’ me? 

Only a REAL bonafide card carryin’ Playa Hater can throw shade on that bruh! The stuff this cat is doin’ we’ve NEVER seen before bruh. He’s already moved past Shaq into 4th place on the All-Time Postseason scorin’ list behind Jordan, Kareem and Kobe. He just recently moved past Jason Kidd on the All-Time Postseason Assists list into third place behind Magic and John Stockton. He’s already passed Jordan in postseason wins etc. And at the rate he’s goin’ accordin’ to the experts he’s goin’ to end his career as the All-Time leading scorer. I’m just sayin’ what I’ve been tellin’ you boyz for the past 5 years and at some point y’all gone start listenin’ to me. 

Now what you boyz don’t realize is that he’s still got 4 or 5 more GOOD years left in him bruh! He’s only 31 years old! Think about that! He’s been to 7 Finals by the time he’s 31! Boyz forgot that he took Cleveland to the Ship in 2007 with the darn Cosby Kids and the duns from the Electric Company. 

He’s still got time to play and guess what? All of the other cats on those lists aren’t playin’ anymore so his numbers will keep risin’ while they’re numbers remain stagnant. It’s gonna be NUTS!!! Not only is he scorin’ but he’s throwin’ dimes and reboundin’! He’s on the verge of doin’ the freakin’ IMPOSSIBLE! Winnin’ a championship in CLEVELAND!!!! That trumps EVERYTHING! The possibility of winnin’ a title in Cleveland? There’s nothin’ else to say! What are the perennial haters goin’ to say then? 

I hear them now standin’ up screamin’ to the top of their lungs, “Jordan was 6-0 in the Finals!” Which is the dumbest thing ever recited because Jordan was always on the best team when he showed up to the Finals! The Bulls were favored in EVERY single Finals appearance! Why? Because they had the best player, Jordan himself! The best wing man in the game at the time, the best 3-point shootin’ percent cat in the history of the NBA in Steve Kerr, the best rebounder in the basketball at the time, Dennis Rodman and the best coach of ALL-TIME. Sure, they didn’t have Kerr or Rodman for all 6 Finals but they always had Jordan, Pippen and Phil. So it makes sense that Jordan went 6-0 in the Finals. 

However, he didn’t go to 6 straight with 2 completely different teams and sets of players. What LeBron is doin’ is nothin’ short of remarkable. And I tell you what pimpin’, if he wins a title in Cleveland that’s worth 6 anywhere else. Trust me on that bruh! CLEVELAND? 

Y’all don’t hear me doe! CLEVELAND hasn’t won a professional sports championship in 52 years!! Yeah bruh, that cancels out any and all arguments about how great LeBron is and where he’ll end up on the All-Time Greatest Player list once he retires. It wouldn’t be up for discussion EVER again! Just stop it! And the perrenial LeBron haters know that. So that’s why they’re on the edges of their seats hopin’ that Golden State can some kind of way pull a miracle out of their hats and beat OKC. Because you and I know that Cleveland is a terrible match up problem for OKC and KD can’t do a thing with LeBron. Stop me when I start lyin’! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.  

3) Pimpin’: noun -the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.