The Jay Graves Report

Knicks tried to put Melo in the ride with the Cavs but they weren’t goin’ his way! “Plastic”

"C'mon bruh! Are you serious?"

Growin’ up in the ghetto you get real familiar with crack heads pullin’ what a boy would call, well…a crack head move. It’s when a dun is so gone on that stuff that he or she would just run up on a boy and ask the most ignorant favors. For example, they would literally roll up on a boy and ask you if they could borrow your VCR, watch, and your lawn mower in that order. Or the dun would ask you could he borrow your car and your snow blower.

Well playas…the New York Knicks pulled a crack head move on Wednesday when they called the Cleveland Cavaliers to see if they would be interested in tradin’ Kevin Love for Carmelo! I know boyz in Cleveland were like WHAT!!!? Something must be wrong with my darn phone. And that’s the edited version. You may as well had asked that dun if he could send his wife over to YOUR house to breast feed YOUR kids. That’s how disrespectful that phone call was bruh!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Knicks actually called a boy with a brain inside of his head with spit in his mouth and asked them for a cat that had just won an NBA title, that is a solid double-double cat givin’ them 20 points and 10 rebounds, AND HE PLAYS DEFENSE!!!  Now get this bruh, in exchange for a dun that is goin’ to shoot the ball all night long. Excuse my grammar, “Ain’t gone pass nothin’ but gas,” won’t play an ounce of defense and you gotta pay that dun darn near $25 million this year and $26 million next year!!!

I know when the phone rang LeBron was in the background whisperin’, “Tell that dun I’m not here dawg! I ain’t here!”  Phil and Co.: “Hey man they won’t answer the phone! “ Melo: “Maaaan let me call my boy LeBron. We go way back!!” Ring! Ring! LeBron: “Uhhh Hello!” Melo: “Yo LeBron wassup dawg!!! Why y’all ain’t answerin’ over there? We wonna talk some business! What ch’all think about me…..hello! Hello!! Man we must’ve gotten disconnected! Come on let’s go over there!” 

So they pulled up on the Cavs, knocked on the door and boyz turned the lights off and got down on the floor bruh. They were like, “nobody move and don’t answer that door” like they were some Jehovah Witnesses on a Saturday mornin’ in the projects.

Could you imagine how ignorant it would be to have Melo on the Cavs? He and Kyrie would be out on the court in the middle of a game scrappin’ like New Edition. It’s only so many possessions and only so many available shots. The Knicks may as well come to the realization that Melo is stuck to them like that dull plastic coverin’ on Big Momma’s living room furniture.  Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

 The caption under the photo isn’t real but it’s REAL talk! 


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