The Jay Graves Report

Joey Bosa tries to punk the Chargers and ends up gettin’ Punk’d! “Leverage”

"I'm about to punk these boyz because I'm Joey Bosa!"

Simon Mainwaring, the well-known branding consultant, once said, “The leverage and influence social media gives citizens are rapidly spreading into the business world.” Scott Adams, the cartoonist, gave it to us like this, “We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.” Then Warren Buffett chopped it up so that a boy could swallow it when he spit, “When you combine ignorance and leverage, you get some pretty interesting results.” 

Well playas…the NFL’s No.3 overall pick of the 2016 draft has combined ignorance without leverage and he’s gotten some pretty interestin’ results. He’s the only dun from the this new draft class that isn’t under contract or in camp yet. On Wednesday they offered this dun their best deal and he rejected it. So the San Diego Chargers pulled their offer off of table. I’ll paraphrase what these boyz told the sports world in a statement after pullin’ the joint. 

We offered that dun the largest signin’ bonus of any rookie in the last two drafts. We offered him more bread than any rookie in this present draft class except for Carson Wentz of the Eagles. And we offered him the largest payment and highest percentage of signin’ bonus in the first calendar year than any cat we’ve ever drafted since this new collective bargaining agreement was put into effect in 2011.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Ole boy wanted to play hard ball and punk the Chargers but he got punk’d without Ashton Kutcher even jumpin’ out of the bushes on him! Now I know boyz wanna act like they’ve got all of the leverage when they walk in but the they don’t playa! Why? Because he doesn’t own the team and he was relatively broke when he sat down with a boy. 

 Now don’t get it twisted bruh! I get that he wants what he wants but the Chargers have all of the leverage. Now he’s got nothin’ to show for all of his hard work and he can’t play for anybody but the Chargers because they drafted him. Why? Because he hadn’t signed a contract before the August due date to be traded so now even if he signs with them he’ll get less bread than they originally offered him.
 So he simply lost bread tryin’ to make a point.

Here’s what the dun walked away from bruh. They offered him a $17 million signin’ bonus where they were goin’ to pay him 85 percent of it up front and the rest in March of 2017 at the start of the NFL’s new calendar year. For all of you cats that don’t wanna do the math I’ll do it for you bruh. They were tryin’ to give him $14.4 million when he signed the freakin’ contract and the other $2.6 million in March. 

 He’s got no leverage because the dun’s drafted No.2 (Wentz) and No. 4 (Elliott) agreed to the same foolishness.
 Bruh…they’re goin’ to give you the $2.6 million in a few months! Were you plannin’ on spendin’ the entire $17 million next week? It’s in the freakin’ bank!!!
 He’s actin’ like he’s negotiatin’ with Mookie and Man-Man nem. Where if he doesn’t get all of his bread right now they’re goin’ to move on him or something.
 IT’S HIS BREAD BRUH!! He’s not dealin’ with Big Red from the movie The Five Heartbeats!! By not signin’ the deal he’s not gettin’ any bread! That’s stupid!!! Here’s your choice $14.4 million now or get nothin’!
 Then he’s trippin’ over not wantin’ “Offset Language” in the contract when 29 of the 31 first round picks have it in their contracts.
 Okay playa, let me explain what “Offset Language” is. Teams put it in a joint to keep a boy from double dippin’ if they get cut etc. All rookie deals are 4 year contracts with the 5th as a team option. However, they have to decide whether they will extend a boy after year 3.
 Let’s say that the team decides that they wanna cut a boy and they still owe him $3 million. If the player signs a new deal for say $3 million and their was no Offset Language” in the original deal. The dun that just got cut and hired by a new team will get his bread from both teams.
 Well Bosa not only wants all of his bread up front but he doesn’t want the “Offset Language” either. Now that’s cool if you can get it. But at some point you’ve gotta slow your roll because they own the team and you’re broke. Remember playboy, you just moved out of a freakin’ dorm or an off campus apartment.
 How are you goin’ to try to punk a boy when every other 1st round rookie draft pick is in camp and has agreed to play by the foolishness that was presented to them? You’ve got no leverage!!!
 These boyz showed Bosa that they weren’t playin’ when they pulled that joint off the table and essentially told him to kick rocks. Now he’s gotta take less bread because he’s missin’ practice and games. No way are they goin’ to re-offer him the same deal.
 If he doesn’t sign it he has to sit out this year and go back into the draft next year. In that case he won’t be the No.3 pick because nobody’s goin’ to draft a dun that high that has sat out of football for an entire year. So guess what playa? He’s goin’ to get less bread and he can’t get that until June of 2017. Who punk’d who? Stop me when I start lyin’.

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

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