The Jay Graves Report

Joakim Noah should act like skippin’ the dinner NEVER happened! “Deuces”

"I was trippin' bruh! Not sure where that came from."

Isaac Newton once said, “Truth is ever to be found in simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.” Jack Kerouac, the novelist and poet, gave it to us like this, “I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” Then George Carman, the well-known English barrister, put it where the goats can get it when he spit, “Mixed feelings, like mixed drinks, are a confusion to the soul.”

Well playas…Joakim Noah’s soul is full of confusion because this dun has mixed feelings about bein’ at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. The New York Knicks have been there all week for trainin’ camp and on Friday this dun skipped a team dinner that featured cadets and a former colonel because he’s against war. Here’s what this cat actually said out of his OWN mouth:

“It’s hard for me a little bit. I have a lot of respect for the kids who are out here fighting. But it’s hard for me to understand why we have to go to war, why kids have to kill kids around the world. So I have mixed feelings about being here. I’m very proud of this country. I love America but I just don’t understand kids killing kids around the world.”

Aight bruh, let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Joakim is tryin’ to do too much! Kaepernick’s protest of police brutality and cops not goin’ to jail for killin’ unarmed black men has taken off because it makes sense. There is a legitimate issue there that people can connect with. What this dun tried to pull on Friday was ignorant, flat-out ignorant!!

Just tell a boy that you were sick or something! Don’t pull some foolishness out of your butt about havin’ mixed feelings about a dun trainin’ to protect yo butt!!! We NEED a military and some the greatest military minds are trained at West Point!! You sound like a fool even askin’ the question, “why a boy has to go to war.”

Boyz aren’t out here lookin’ for trouble bruh, they’re preparin’ for trouble in the event some fool tries to pull a fast one on us. You’ve got to have a military to keep boyz from tryin’ to punk you on GP. Where did this dude grow up? If boyz knew you couldn’t fight they were rollin’ up on you daily takin’ your lunch money and sneakers. However, if a boy knew you were solid with the hands he was gonna keep it movin’. Well, that’s why we NEED a military and the young boyz that are trainin’ at West Point need to be respected. As a matter of fact, ALL cats in the military NEED to be respected.

They are the security blanket that you sleep with every night. They are the locks on the doors at your crib when you leave home bruh. You sound crazy even makin’ that statement. I’ve got TALL respect for a boy that’s willin’ to go fight for this country because I sure as heck ain’t goin’ nowhere to fight in a war! Naw bruh, any cat that’s willin’ to jump out there on the front line has my respect because if they call me I’m not answering the phone. I’m not built for that. I’m like Chris Brown up in this piece on ‘um, “Deuces.”

Hey Joakim, nobody’s jumpin’ in the ride with you on that one playboy. So go to practice today and act like yesterday never even happened because we will. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) GP: verb – General Purposes, just because

5) Deuces: noun – hit R&B song by the singer Chris Brown.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!