Since everybody and their baby’s momma that’s affiliated with the National Football League is in the 317 this week for the Combine a lot of business is gettin’ done. Not only are boyz checkin’ out all of the draft prospects but some league business is gettin’ done too. Agents are in town representin’ current free agents and coaches that are tryin’ to run boyz down for jobs too.
Then you have the circus takin’ place of the one and only Jerry Jones that held a one hour presser with the media on what’s goin’ on with Tony Romo. Now everybody and their old Uncle Leroy knows that Dak Prescott is the starter in Dallas. The dun won 13 regular season games as the starter after Romo got hurt. He was picked up in the sixth round of last year’s draft. So they’re only payin’ the dun what essentially comes to Skittles and Lemonheads after they signed him to a 4 year deal worth a total of $2.7 million!! Did I mention that he was also named the Offensive Rookie of the Year?
Now everybody with an instep and at least one lung knows what Dallas has to do by the time the season starts with Tony Romo. If they keep the dun they’ve got to pay him $14 million. Jerry Jones is the smartest owner in the NFL when it comes to makin’ bread and he can count roaches in the dark with sun glasses on.
So let me put it where the goats can get it. Jerry’s Boys are under the $167 million salary cap with Romo’s cap figure hittin’ them for $24.7 million. If they release the dun they’ll save $5.1 million towards the cap. If they wait until June 1st then they’ll save $14 million but won’t get the credit until June 2nd. Romo hits them against the cap for $10.7 million in 2017 and $8.6 million the followin’ year. What all of that means is that the dun is goin’ to cost them a whole lot more money than Dak Prescott because you can pay him out of petty cash right now.
So Jerry’s at the Combine talkin’ in code like he’s in prison tryin’ to run the street gang from his cell. He essentially picks up the phone and says to all the homies on the other line:
“We’re in a situation right now where we need to see some things happen. We need to read some tea leaves. We don’t need to be overtly doing something. We don’t need to do that for cap room. We don’t need to do that for any reason. We just need to see some direction, and the way we’ll get it is by coming together and mutually working that direction out. So, I mean, I’m not trying to be vague. All I’m trying to do is say that we don’t have anything to move on at this point.”
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I don’t care what Jerry Jones says at this point bruh! He’s got a cat startin’ that went 13-3 last year that he’s payin’ $675,000 and he’s got a dun that stays hurt and makes terrible decisions with the ball in his hands when he is healthy on the bench that he’s gotta pay $14 million! We’re talkin’ about the owner of the most valuable football team in the NFL and we’re countin’ dollars and cents! What decision to do you really think he’s goin’ to make at this point?
He’s goin’ to wait until June 1st, cut Tony Romo and keep it movin’. We don’t need the dog and pony show while we’re already at the dog and pony show bruh. If he doesn’t do that then he’s really crazy but at this point he’s talkin’ out of the side of his next like Larry Blackmon in the famous red jock strap. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) The 317: noun – the area code for Indianapolis, Indiana
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.
4) Larry Blackmon: noun – lead singer of the ’80’s R&B group Cameo that always came on stage with a red jock strap on.
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!