The Jay Graves Report

It’s time for the Colts to treat Pagano and Grigson like ole Eddie Kane Jr.! “HOT MESS”

"This is way too easy bruh!"

On Saturday afternoon the Indianapolis Colts showed up in Oakland with what Big Momma used to say, “An excuse in their mouth.” Junior Seau broke it down like this, “No excuses and no sob stories. Life is full of excuses if you’re looking. I have no time to gripe over misfortune. I don’t waste time looking back.” Then Carlos Santana jumped in the ride and said it this way, “Most people don’t have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims.”

Well playas…the Colts were victims alright, victims of a carjackin’ on the streets of Oakland by some duns rockin’ a silver and black hoodie 33-25. Now on some real talk, the score was not indicative of the beatin’ that they took so don’t ever let a boy tell you that it wasn’t that bad.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If it weren’t for Christmas bein’ today they would have stripped Chuck Pagano butt naked and dropped him off at the airport with ole Eddie Kane Jr. Why? Because not only did his team lose the ball game, they looked a HOT MESS in  the process! As a matter of fact, they looked like HOT Garbage!

Now I know that the Raiders are good and Derek Carr is playin’ at an MVP level but they were goin’ through the Colts defense like it was Pop Warner. They were goin’ through them like wet toilet paper. They came through like the Feds in the hood on a Monday mornin’ at 5:08am with the battering ram. It was bad bruh.

The Raiders scored on five straight possessions as the Colts seemed to just be goin’ through the motions. They were gettin’ blown off of the line of scrimmage, they couldn’t tackle worth jack and they made some dun named Jalen Richard look like Eric Dickerson in Walter Payton’s uniform wearin’ Barry Sanders’ shoes. The dun averaged 10 yards per carry on these boyz!!!

Then in the fourth quarter like some real life Schelprocks they ruined the Raiders magical season. Trent Cole sacks Derek Carr, lands on his leg and breaks his fibula. Of course it was a freak accident but that’s the foolishness that has been followin’ the Colts around all season. Can’t do nothin’ right!!!

The Raiders (12-3) may as well get in the car with the Colts because their season is shot. Sure, they’ll make the playoffs and will even enjoy a first round bye with a win next week in Denver or a Kansas City loss in one of their final two games. Why do I say that they’re doomed? Because now they’ve got to go the rest of the way with a dun named Matt McGloin. Good luck with that!

Yeah, it’s time playboy! Both Ryan Grigson and Chuck need to be on the first thing smokin’ next week. Send them to wherever ole Eddie Kane Jr. is right now. It’s just not workin’ out and they’ve got $140 million invested in a quarterback that they can’t protect. It’s like parkin’ a Bentley Phantom in the projects on a Saturday night with the doors unlocked, the music blastin’ and gettin’ mad at the ride for gettin’ stolen.

It is what it is so let’s get it over with. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!