The Jay Graves Report

I bet boyz that voted for James Harden for MVP want a do-over this mornin’ bruh!

Everybody and their Uncle Leroy has been hollerin’ about why The Beard should be the league MVP all season long. It completely blows my mind that it was even a two man race with the season Young Russ put together! The dun AVERAGED a triple double for the entire season. However, for some reason James Harden’s name kept comin’ out of boy’z mouths because he was averagin’ 29 points per game and a league leadin’ 11.2 assists per game. The dun was averagin’ 28 points and 8.5 assists in these playoffs.

Well playas…the dun finally wet the bet on Thursday night in a “Po Pimp” Do or Die situation at the crib. The Rockets came into Game 6 down 3-2 in a must win situation to stay alive. They ended up gettin’ the brakes, doors, transmission and all of the seats beaten off of them by losin’ 114-75!!! And guess where The Beard was durin’ this entire beatin’? Hidin’ in the ride in the back seat!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That dun pulled a “Skittles and Lemonheads” on a boy and finished the night with 10 points on 2 of 11 shootin’, 7 assists and 6 turnovers. He had five turnovers in the first half!!! Bruh…not only did they get their brains beaten out of them but they loss with the Spurs bein’ without both Tony Parker and Kawhi!!!

Without Kawhi there is no way that Houston shouldn’t have won at the crib in a “Po Pimp” situation! Unacceptable!! Not when you’ve got a dun on the floor that everybody is screamn’ MVP for. Not with that dude breathin’! That was one of the biggest choke jobs I’ve ever seen bruh. I bet every media-type that voted for him is tryin’ to get their wasted vote back  this mornin’.

I say wasted vote because you had to be out of your freakin’ mind to vote for anybody other than Young Russ in the first place. However, there were those cats that just wanted to be on the opposite end of logic for the sake of bein’ on the opposite end of logic. It made no sense whatsoever to vote for anybody but Russ.

I couldn’t believe what I was watchin’! The dun looked like somebody put the horse head in his bed the night before. He didn’t attempt a shot until the 6:19 mark of the second quarter. Wheredeydodatat?  I don’t wanna hear another peep out of boyz talkin’ about The Beard as the league MVP. As a matter of fact, everybody that even voted for that dun should have their credentials stripped for an entire season. If you can’t see that a boy that had the best statistical season in the past 55 years wasn’t clearly the MVP you shouldn’t even be coverin’ the NBA. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Po Pimp: noun – record released in 1996 by the rap group called Do or Die.

3) Skittles and Lemonheads: noun – to pull a Roy Hibbert bruh, to do obsolutely nothing for the team.


3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”