The Jay Graves Report

How the so-called boss chicks end up playin’ themslves! “Science Project”

 Every now and then I’ll do an article that has nothing to do with sports but everything to do with real life. 

“I don’t need a man!” It’s the independent ladies anthem. The shot heard around the world. “I can make it on my own”. That may well be true financially and sounds great. However, in theory it’s a bit out of touch babygirl. You see, having or wanting a man should have absolutely nothing to do with how much money you make. Nor should the degree, degrees or job you possess make a difference. 

I pose this question regularly to women that repeatedly say that. Why do you have to NEED a man to WANT a husband? After all, we’re human beings and we all long for companionship. That’s the way God made us. Is it so wrong to want to spend your life with someone that truly loves you regardless of his income? I applaud you for getting this money out here and making power moves in Corporate America etc. You’re going to college at an alarming rate, making money like never before… believe me babygirl, I find that to be very sexy. The problem is, along with your success you’ve lost a since of reality.

When you say “I don’t need a man, I’ve got my own car, home and job” that sounds impressive… initially. However, it really sounds like the brother that says “I take care of my kids.” You don’t get credit for that. If you’re a grown woman, you’re supposed to have your own car, home and job. That’s no accomplishment. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100,whichever comes 1st!  A man that’s looking for a wife is looking for an asset not a liability. Those are the mandatory minimums. Real cats are looking for women they don’t have to take care of financially. We just don’t want the attitude that comes with it. Regardless of a man’s financial situation, he has an ego and it’s not going anywhere. You can choose to either stroke it or bruise it. So as long as you keep telling men that you don’t need them. You won’t have one. It’s as simple as that. Brothers won’t stay where they are perceived not to be needed and sister’s it has nothing to do with money.

Companionship is a need all to itself. Life is so much better when you can spend it with someone that simply loves and respects you. Last I checked money can’t buy that. Nowhere in the bible does it say that companionship is based your level of success. So stop running these brother’s off because you can’t keep it real. You don’t make any more money than anybody living in your neighborhood. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be in that neighborhood. You don’t have anymore paper than the people that you’re meeting at your particular social events. Otherwise, you’d be at different level of social event. The truth is…that if you’re not careful you’ll end up in the make believe world of the “Cougar.” It sounds great! However, in a man’s world you’ve been reduced to a “Science Project.”

When you’re 25, independent and fine saying, “I don’t need a man”, it sounds rather vogue. That’s because you still have a crew of girls fresh out of college or graduate school to run with. You guys meet after work for drinks at happy hour etc. Sit around and tell the stories of how much guys are intimidated by your success… at the same time singing the “independent” anthem. Then gradually your girlfriends that get it, start to marry off. You become annoyed because you don’t have a crew to travel or club with anymore. Primarily because they’ve all started families and they’re now obligated to PTA, soccer and oh yeah, they’ve got husbands to kick it with now.

Then over time you look up and you’re 40… still fine with a bigger house, car and job. All of the single brothers your age are no longer interested because new models are coming off of the assembly line yearly… young girls fresh out of college with great toned bodies. Yours… well let’s say that it’s been around the block a few too many times. You’ve been able to control every aspect of your life. However, there’s one thing that your level of success and independence couldn’t get you… a husband. Listen to me closely sista’s; you can’t get married unless he asks you. That’s the way it works babygirl. The word of God says, “A man that FINDS a wife, FINDS a good thing”, not the other way around.

So now you begin to fool yourself into believing that dating younger men is the answer. “Stella got her Groove Back” got you excited. However, in a man’s world you’ve become a “Science Project”. You wanted the control and power now you’ve got. This young boy will let you take him to the finest restaurants and hotels all over the world. He’ll even allow you to dress him. Why not, you’re picking up the tab? He’ll let you teach him everything you know sexually. Let’s face it, you are 40 and you’re way more experienced than he is. He’s having the time of his life… for free. Then after a while he decides that it’s time to get married and start a family. The problem is, he wants a woman more his age and many times even younger. Thanks, because you’ve shown him all of the spots to take his new wife, taught him how to dress… and oh yeah you’ve shown him how to please his wife in the bed too. Class Dismissed!