The Jay Graves Report

How the New Year’s Six bowl games were completely trash and all hype! “Refund”

“I told you boyz I was the truth playboy!”

David Miliband, the British politician, once said, “You know, you only get to live life once, so there are two things that that yields. One is that there’s no point in crying over spilt milk, but secondly you hate wasting time, energy, and whatever talent you’ve got.” Hellen Mirren, the English actor, gave it to us like this, “There’s no good way to waste your time. Wasting time is just wasting time.” Then the big homie, Benjamin Franklin, shut the buildin’ down when he spit, “If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.”

Well playas…ole Ben must have been sittin’ next to me over the past 48 hours while I was tryin’ to watch these dull bowl games! I purposely waited to only watch the so-called “New Year’s Six” that these fake media-types on ESPN have been hypin’ since the season ended. Obviously, there were a total of 40 bowls games this year but I figured that my time would be better spent watchin’ the 6 biggest joints and not the others. After all, I am a buzy man right?

So let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I didn’t turn a joint on until New Year’s Eve to watch both of the semi-final games of the College Football Playoff. There was crazy hype goin’ into the Orange Bowl and Clemson beat the brakes off of Oklahoma 37-17. Then Alabama ran off in the Cotton Bowl and completely drug Michigan State up and down the field 38-0.

Then I got up on New Year’s today figurin’ that boyz gotta give me somethin’ because I’ve blocked off my time to do ABSOLUTELY nothin’ but watch these games! Turned on the Outback Bowl and Tennessee gutted Northwestern 45-6. Michigan dog walked Florida 41-7 in the Citrus Bowl. Ohio State carjacked the Leprechaun and tied up Touchdown Jesus in the bathroom in the Fiesta Bowl 44-28. Stanford treated Iowa like some bald headed step children in the Rose Bowl by blastin’ them 45-16 and Christian McCaffery proved once again why he was robbed of the Heisman by runnin’ all over these boyz. Then for kicks and giggles I turned on the Sugar Bowl and Oklahoma State completely wet the bed and Ole Miss went to work on them 44-28.

So really that was 7 games instead of 6 that I gave these fools. Sad part about it is that I can’t ask for a refund because I didn’t pay to see any of them. I just wasted my freakin’ time watchin’ them when I could have been doin’ somethin’ else. So I don’t care who’s playin’ today bruh, I’m not watchin’ another college football game until next season pimpin’. And I’m temped to not to watch another football game until the NFL playoffs start next week. Why? Because I’m nauseous from watchin’ terrible football and I already know that week 17 NFL football is gonna be even worse. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.

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