The Jay Graves Report

How LeBron would have been better off lyin’ on Mrs. Parker! “The Dull Pick”

"Ima just lie about it bruh! They can't prove it."

Annie Besant, the 19th century British socialist and women’s rights activist, once said, “Refusal to believe until proof is given is a rational position; denial of all outside of our own limited experience is absurd.” The homie Mark Twain broke it down like this, “Denial ain’t just the river in Egypt.” Then Bill Patterson, the famous Scottish stage, film and television actor, shut the conversation down with, “It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.”

Well playboy…ole LeBron has been hangin’ out with Bill because that dun is on the same state of mind when it comes to denial. When asked about the dull pick on Wednesday night that he clearly set on his own teammate Matthew Dellavedova (Delly) while the Cavs were playin’ the Heat over the weekend in Rio, he denied it like a young gangsta in an interrogation room on First 48.

After the Pacers game at Xavier University boyz asked him about it just to see what he was gonna say. It was like askin’ your kid somethin’ that you already know the answer to just to see if he’s gonna lie to you. But this dun tried to elevate his mind over the duns that could actually see. Here was his response bruh:

“For non-basketball people, our coverage is for me to show and for Delly to go under me and we just didn’t get the call right at the time. Delly was supposed to slide under me and we kind of ran into each other. So for non-basketball, they like to critique everything that I do. It’s stupid.”

In my SpongeBob dull eye blink complete with sound effects and all I’m lookin’ at this dun like, “You really just let that come out of your mouth bruh?” Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! He may as well have told me that the Easter Bunny stole the $11 million that he screwed D. Wade out of before he got out of South Beach. Tell me that it wasn’t Chauncey that turned in the tape on Caine and O’Dog bruh. Tell me that Ricky was just sleep on the couch and Dough Boy was dead. Tell me that Cleo escaped, kept all of the money and Stoney died on the bus drinkin’ too many Tequilas. Tell me that Mrs. Parker smoked all of Big Worm’s weed and not Craig and Smokey. Tell me anything bruh but “non-basketball” people don’t know what they saw.

You set a dull pick for a boy and it’s on video tape playa. It’s cool! We’ll still love you in the mornin’ even though you wet the bed. You’re human, it rarely happens, if ever, but I get it. Just fess up and we all can move on bruh. It ain’t that deep! Boyz were just havin’ fun at your expense obviously, but you were the dun that set the dull pick.

You may as well have told the principal that the kid sittin’ next to you kept runnin’ into your fist on lunch hour. I mean that joint has worked somewhere right? It’s cool! We can act like it didn’t happen as long as D. Wade can act like the bread he opted out of on your strength and then got back is still the same then I’m cool too but stop me when I start lyin’!