The Jay Graves Report

How Coach K straight “Pimp Hustled” the media and got away with it! “Juice”

“Naw baby! It wasn’t me baby! Not me baby! Where’s my coat?”

Dorothy L Sayers, the renowned English crime writer, once said, “The great advantage about telling the truth is that nobody ever believes it.” Josafina Vasquez Mota, the Mexican business woman, gave it to us like this, “There are two ways of lying. One, not telling the truth and the other, making up statistics. Eric Carr broke it down like a G at hustlas convention, “I can’t say why people lie; they just do. Everyone has their own reasons for not telling the truth.”
Well playas…somebody better ask Coach K what his reasons are for not tellin’ the truth when it comes to the foolishness that went on after his Blue Devils got the brakes beat off of them by Oregon on Thursday night. Ole boy released a statement Saturday that said, “Today, I spoke with Oregon head coach Dana Altman and apologized to him for my remarks to Dillon Brooks following our game. It is not my place to talk to another team’s player and doing so took the focus away from the terrific game that Dillon played.”
Okay bruh, let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! This dun put out a statement to apologize to Oregon’s coach for hollerin’ at his player that he shouldn’t have. Yes, that is correct because you can’t holler at another man’s player, wife or kid. That’s code and Coach K broke that joint.

However, he didn’t apologize for lyin’ to a boy about sayin’ what he said in the first place.

Okay, for all of you simple minded individuals let me put it where the goats can get it. So if you missed this foolishness altogether let me school you so we can have an understandin’ of the street code boyz gotta live by out here.

Dillon Brooks hit a 3 as the shot clock wound down late in Oregon’s 82-68 smashin’ of Duke. Ole boy celebrated after he made the shot. So after the game he told all of the media-types in the post-game presser that Coach K told him after the game that he’s “too good of a player to be showing off in the end.” 

Then when a dun asked Coach K if he said it, he tried to play dumb on a boy and old school pimp hustle him. He flat out denies that he said it altogether with, “I didn’t say that! You can say whatever you want. Dillon Brooks is a hell of a player. I said, ‘You’re a terrific player.’ And you can take whatever he said and then go with it, all right? 
That’s what we call a pimp hustlin’ in the hood bruh! He denied it. Then told a boy to believe whatever he wants to believe because you’re goin’ to believe whatever you’re gonna believe anyway. He may as well have had on a full length mink coat some purple gators and rockin’ a Goldie perm when he said it. Coach K can move through the hood with ease with skills like that bruh. Bishop Magic Don Juan was so proud of him that he gave him a pimp cup for that performance.
Like a seasoned old hustla he still never admitted to the lie once the audio came out of him actually sayin’ it. He responds in full pimp form with some Southernplayalisticcadillacfunkynusic bumpin’ in the background, “In the postgame press conference, I reacted incorrectly to a reporter’s question about my comment to Dillon.”
Naw bruh, you lied!! Just say that. But ole pimps will never fess up. Why? Because they’re old pimps! After the press conference he jumped in the ride with Nelly bumpin’ that “Pimp Juice” all the way back to Durham.

Don’t get it twisted bruh, Coach K is one of the greatest coaches of all-time! However, that dun straight up lied to a boy and nobody’s callin’ him on it. Don’t put a wack statement out and think that the REAL G’s watchin’ this foolishness aren’t goin’ to peep game. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and it’s non-gender specific.
3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to break it down to it’s simplest form. To put it on the grown where a boy can digest it like a goat.
4) Pimp Hustlin’: verb – to look at a boy and lie with a straight face. To make the dun you’re talkin’ to look stupid for even suggestin’ that you did something wrong.
5) Southernplayalisticcadillacfunymusic: noun – the rap group OutKast’s first single off of their first album

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