When I landed in Minneapolis for the Super Bowl I had to share a cab with these cats that talked my ear off. Ernest Hemingway said, “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” William Shakespeare just kept it simple by saying, “Listen to many, speak to few.” Then Big Momma jumped in the ride and hit boyz off with two old school joints, “Baby, at some point you gone learn that fat meat is greasy!” and “The best sense is bought sense! ”
Earlier this week I wrote a Hot Joint entitled “Why? Cuz It’s The Super Bowl” tryin’ to tell these young thundercats that if they aren’t million dollar studs they don’t need to go anywhere near the Super Bowl this week! Boyz will be goin’ hard in the paint and if you can’t play in the blocks you’re gonna get embarrassed real quick. Well I ran into four brothers at the airport on their way to the Big Game festivities that have absolutely no business in the Minnesota this week. Their names were Mortgage, Light & Gas, Car Note and Child Support.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! They weren’t even thinkin about goin’ until their cousin named Rapid Refund talked them into it. He gave them the usual line that it only comes around once a year and that they deserve to go out there and get it in. Now Rapid has always been a big instigator and when boyz listen to him they usually end up in jail or worse but they always let this fool get them into trouble. If nothin’ else, he’ll make a boy spend what he can’t afford to just to show out.
I can already tell you how the week is gonna go for these cats! See Mortgage is the Alpha male with the most bread so boyz always let him call the shots. He’ll have them up every day at the crack of dawn drinkin’ because he’s buyin’. Light & Gas has the uncanny ability to find the hottest parties even in cities that he knows nothin’ about. He see’s everything and it comes naturally to him. Those $300 parties I told you about in the “Cuz It’s The Super Bowl” joint is no problem for this dun. He’s sponsorin’ boyz all week on the party tip because that’s just how he gets down playboy. LG is always shinin’ bruh!
Car Note seems to have a built in navigation system so he can find whatever spot you wanna go to and never trips on gas money. So look out Minneapolis these duns are gonna ball out like Morris Day and the Time this week and they’ll find out just how lonely gigolos can get when it’s all over and done with.
Finally, Child Support is the player of the group. He knows all of the women in town and even those that he doesn’t know, he’ll get to know! Trust me. This cat has no preferences either. He’ll holler at the little petite chicks as well as the big girls. I saw him posted up with some plus-plus-plus size girls that were wearin’ their stomachs out at last year’s events. They thought that the memo read, “Stomachs required for this outfit!” When it really said, “Take your stomach OFF before puttin’ this joint on!” Otherwise you’ll be in violation of Article 1 Section 7 of the “Just Because They Make it in Your Size Doesn’t Mean You Can Wear It!” ordinance.”
Some cats just have that ability to pull and do damage on every trip and this one will be no different. “Why? CUZ IT’S THE SUPER BOWL!” So these boyz have completely taken the brakes off all together and have just floored it! It’s all good this week playa but next week is just sittin’ in the cut waitin’ on a boy!
It’s like when you were a kid and you would get into trouble at 3:30pm. Your ole girl would tell you to wait until your ole man gets home but that dun didn’t get off work until after midnight! Then you try to act like it’s all good and keep playin’ but you know it’s goin’ down as soon as he walks in the door. It just kills the fun, right?
When their plane lands at the crib next week their boy Rapid will be a missin’ person. He always disappears after he gives boyz bad advice and you won’t see him again until next January. These Joe’s will be a shell of themselves when they pull up. Mortgage will be on punishment and can’t have company. On some real talk, he’ll be hopin’ that his key still works.
Light & Gas won’t be able to see anything for at least two weeks and will have a bad cold. Car Note will be hidin’ his woman a couple of blocks away so that the bank doesn’t lure her away in the middle of the night. Your boy Child Support will be hidin’ from his baby mommas because he was already in the arrears before he left. Foolishness! “WHY CUZ IT’S THE SUPER BOWL!” and boyz won’t listen!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) Ole Girl: noun – your mother
3) Ole Man or dude: noun – your father
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!
The caption under the photo isn’t real but it’s REAL talk!