The Jay Graves Report

How Big Momma went off on Draymond for sendin’ his joint to a girl named Snapchat! “In Line”

“Dang! Grandma bout to go offfff!!!”

Benjamin Franklin one said, “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” Bertrand Russell, the British philosopher, gave it to us like this, “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” Then Gustave Flaubert, the French novelist, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he spit, “To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.” 


Well playas…if those are the requirements for happiness then Draymond Green is as happy as a stripper in Vegas on NBA All-Star Weekend with Pacman Jones sittin’ in the front row drunk because stupidity got on the bus first. On Sunday this dun accidentally posted a picture of his penis on Snapchat and the joint was up for about 10 minutes before he realized that he’d made a mistake. He was tryin’ to send the joint to some one privately. Here’s his explanation before USA Olympic Basketball practice at the Toyota Center on Sunday:  


“It was a situation where it was meant to be a private message. I kinda hit the wrong button and it sucks. It was meant to be private. We’re all one click away from placing something in the wrong place, and I suffered from that this morning.”


Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! What’s wrong with you bruh? Even if you hit the wrong button and sent the joint to Snapchat as opposed to a private text. Why are you sendin’ a picture of your joint to somebody anyway? You’re not some stupid kid in the 8th grade that doesn’t realize the full ramifications of bein’…stupid!!! You’re a grown tail man that knows better and that’s the edited version. 


I’ve never understood why a dun feels the need to take a picture of his or her private parts to send to somebody, especially an adult. Just get into your car and go over to the their house and if you’re Draymond just fly the broad in. Why do you need to send her the joint that she can’t do anything with but embarrass yo butt with down the line. 


Let me put it where the goats could get it bruh. If she would have gotten it. She would’ve held on to it until you made her mad and then she would have posted it on online anyway. So I guess makin’ the mistake of postin’ it on Snapchat yourself, now, saved you the embarrassment of her postin’ it this time next year.  


C’mon bruh…you just got arrested not even a month ago for actin’ a fool up in East Lansing for slappin’ some cat in the face. You spent the enitre playoffs kickin’ boyz in the gonads and finally gettin’ suspended durin’ the Finals for that foolishness. Now you’re on the Olympic Team still actin’ a fool? At some point you’ve got to grow up and be a professional.  Not only are you embarrassin’ yourself but you’re embarrassin’ the NBA, the Golden State Warriors and USA Basketball. And did I mention Big Momma? 


And you already know that she went off on that dun Sunday as soon as it hit the news. “Boy!! What is this they tellin’ me about you sendin’ yo penis to some girl named Snapchat? Then she put it in THE line so everybody could see it. Now how did you take it off to send it to her in the first place? Boy are you crazy? Don’t make me come out there and embarrass you.” And she’s NOT playin’! Stop me when I start lyin’! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say 

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

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