The Jay Graves Report


"Who wants some of this? Cuz we can give you every bit of it bruh!! But can you handle it though?

It’s the greatest time of the year playas and playettes! It’s College Football Saturday and it doesn’t get any better than this! It’s not just about the game, it’s also the traditions and pageantry that makes it the greatest game on the planet!

Fans are tailgatin’, fight songs are bein’ song and game day traditions are in full affect this mornin’. If you’re anything like me you’re tryin’ to visualize the Sooner Schooner runnin’ out of the tunnel in Norman or being on board with the Volunteer Navy singin’ Rocky Top or leanin’ back as “The Victors” win in the “Big House” today.

“Waking up the Echo’s” with Touchdown Jesus and thinking about Bevo and the “Eyes of Texas!” Listening for Mike the Tiger to roar way down in “Death Valley” or the Gator’s chomping in the “Swamp!” Lookin’ up for the “War Eagle” of Auburn, thinkin’ about linin’ up “Between the Hedges” and runnin’ with the Dawgs or rollin’ with the Tide in Tuscaloosa! Boyz out west are thinkin’ about struttin’ in on the Trojan Horse with the “Men of Troy” and down south ridin’ high with Chief Osceola and Renegade at Doak-Campbell.

The Parliament Funkadelic (Oregon Ducks) are playin’ that “One Nation Under a Groove” in Eugene as boyz prepare to fill up Autzen Stadium this evenin’! Death Valley, South Carolina isn’t about to take a backseat to Death Valley in Baton Rouge because they both claim it and that’s what it is playboy!

Oklahoma and Houston have business to attend to in H-town while ole Nick and Co. are rollin in off of I-35 from Tuscaloosa into Dallas to put the college football world on notice that they ain’t slowin’ down no time soon!! They’re here to let boyz know that they still got it and if you want it try to knock the chip off of their shoulders step on up playa. In other words, it’s Chris Brown up in this piece! It’s “On an Poppin'” playboy.

Whoever your team is you’ll be front and center gettin’ it all in today. So here is the rule pimpin’! Don’t call my house or ring my door bell between 9am and 1am  bruh! College GameDay comes on at 9am eastern and then the games start rollin’ at noon. Don’t get offended because I’m tellin’ now that I’m not messin’ with you between those hours on Saturdays until the second week of December playboy! Get it? Got it! Good! Holla At Ya Boy!! HAPPY COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON YOU DULL MUGS!!!!!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!