Goodell essentially sits Ezekiel Elliott down for bein’ outta control! “Gas and Smoke”

"At some point I knew these duns would get me!" Photo: Tom Pennington/Getty Image

Well playas…the NFL finally ran up on ole Zeke and told that dun to go somewhere and sit his butt down for six weeks. On Friday the league suspended him for violating the personal conduct policy. Now I will agree with the NFL that ole boy has been outta control and needs to go somewhere and sit down. However, I don’t agree with them suspendin’ him for the reason that they gave.

This particular suspension is for the domestic violence case that occurred last summer before the dun ever played a down in the NFL. That case essentially doesn’t exist because the Columbus Prosecutor’s Office decided not to even file charges in the case because there were too many conflictin’ stories as to what actually happened.

Therefore, if there isn’t charges filed then there isn’t a case. If there isn’t a case there isn’t anything to discuss. This sets a bad precedence goin’ forward because boyz can essentially be suspended for gettin’ arrested alone. We all know that an arrest doesn’t always result in charges bein’ filed. What happens when someone gets mad at a player and decides to make up something, call the police and the dun gets arrested but no charges are ever filed. They could be suspended for the arrest alone. That’s crazy!!!

However, that’s the power that the players have given Roger Goodell so therefore, they’ve got to deal with this dun bein’ the judge, the jury, and the executioner.

So Zeke goes to Twitter to tell boyz how shocked and surprised he is that he’s been suspended for six weeks by writin’ this foolishness:

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If the dun had gone somewhere and sat down after that foolishness last summer we wouldn’t even be havin’ this dumb conversation today. There’s a reason why Goodell and his boyz has come lookin’ for him now. Because the dun is outta control!!! He got away with that foolishness last year and they let him play. Then he shows up on video tape pullin’ some woman’s top down exposin’ her breasts at some outdoor event on St. Patrick’s Day this past spring. Then the dun gets into a fight with a boy at a bar just this summer and badly damages ole boy’s nose.

All of a sudden there are no charges filed in that foolishness. Money talks playa! Ole Roger and Co. were like, you know what? I’m tired of showin’ up to house fires and this dun keeps runnin’ out of the back door with his hands clean but he keeps smellin’ like gasoline and smoke. So because I’ve got the power to sit this fool down. Ima to sit this fool down. Zeke, I hope that you lose the appeal because you need a darn babysitter like they put on Dez Bryant for a while when he didn’t know how to behave like a grown man.

They need somebody sleepin’ in a twin sized bed in the same room with Zeke followin’ that dun everywhere he goes includin’ the bathroom. When he sneezes there better be somebody standin’ there to make sure he wipes his nose. It doesn’t make an ounce of sense that a grown man can’t act right. It’s a blessin’ to be able to make a livin’ doin’ somethin’ that you love to do. Keep on clownin’ and the good Lord will at some point take it away bruh. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Ole Boy: noun – the person that I’m talkin’ about.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!