The Jay Graves Report

Golden State gives Portland a head start and even lets them take their shoes off! “Bare Footed”

"C'mon bruh! Y'all ain't know? You gotta know right?" Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty

Just for kicks and giggles the Golden State Warriors showed up in Portland on Saturday and made it interestin’. Before the game even tipped off they told a boy, “Aight playa we’ll take KD (calf strain), Matt Barnes (right ankle/foot sprain) and  Shaun Livingston (right index finger sprain and hand contusion) off of the table. Then for added foolishness we’ll feed Steve Kerr Thelma’s cookin’ and make that dun sick, give you a 16 point head start and even let you take your shoes off.” 

After all of that foolishness the Warriors came back after bein’ down 16 points in the third quarter to beat these duns 119-113.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Steph Curry couldn’t hit water if he’d fallen outta the side of a boat. He couldn’t hit an elephant in the butt with a base fiddle and that’s the edited version. Ole boy was missin’ lay ups and was 0-4 on wide open three’s in the first half. Klay Thompson looked a hot mess too.

They were relyin’ on some dun named Patrick McCaw that they picked up at the bus station on the way to the game seems like. I mean he’s a rookie that has been on the squad all season but that he’s been irrelevant. He was gettin’ steals and such just make it interestin’ enough to keep watchin’.

At the 6:08 mark of the third quarter they were down 16 points to dull Portland. Then all of a sudden the reality TV star of the hit show “Shaqtin a Fool” gave the Warriors some energy. JaVale McGee was in the buildin’ and the dun actually went to work givin’ Golden State some edge!! He had a MONSTER one hand alley-oop that cleared the freakin’ buildin’!!

For some strange reason he’s ballin’ out in this first round against the Trail Blazers. In the 105 minutes ole boy has been on the bench in this series, Portland has outscored Golden State by four points. However, in the 39 minutes ole boy has been on the floor, Golden State has outscored them by 51 points. What!!? Wheredeydodatat?

All of a sudden the Warriors go on a 19-1 run wakin’ up both Steph and Klay to finish these boyz off. Like I said, they gave these cats an old school head start by lettin’ them get to Mr. Willie’s Deuce and a Quarter and they let a boy take his shoes off. I don’t know why a boy thought that he was faster bare footed than with his shoes but he did ALWAYS. Then they took off, ran past them and slapped them on the butt on GP. Now the Warriors are up 3-0 and ready to feed them their last supper. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Thelma: noun – character on the hit 1970’s show “Good Times” that couldn’t cook and boyz would run if she ever tried to cook for the family.

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) GP: noun – short for general purposes, it’s like sayin’ for the heck of it and that’s the edited version.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!