The Jay Graves Report

Fans get robbed when LeBron sits on Pacers! “Foul Balls”

"I'm chillin' tonight bruh! Deal with it!"

William Shakespeare once said, “If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?” Theodore Roosevelt broke it down like this, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” Then Richard P. Feynman, the theoretical physicist, poured out a lil’ liquor for all the dead homies when he spit, “It doesn’t matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn’t matter how smart you are. If it doesn’t agree with experiment, it’s wrong.”

Well playas…it doesn’t matter how a good a boy is, it doesn’t how much bread he’s got! If he doesn’t play when his team shows up and he’s not hurt, it’s DEAD wrong bruh! On Wednesday night the Cleveland Cavaliers rolled into to town for the first time as the defendin’ NBA Champs and LeBron didn’t bother to suit up. Why? Accordin’ to Tyronn Lue, the dun was restin’!! You read that right playboy! Restin’!!! Obviously, the Pacers knocked them off 103-93.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! For a boy not to play when cats have spent big money on tickets to see him play is “foul balls” any kind of way you look at it. Duns have been waitin’ all year to see LeBron play and he’s a no show? C’mon bruh!

Here’s my hater standin’ on the sideline worryin’ about me. “Jay, you’re just mad that you didn’t get to see him play! That’s all!”  Bruh, I cover the NBA and don’t pay a dime to see these games! I’ve got a media credential. I’m fired up for the fans that paid hard earned money to see that dun play! Think about all of the kids that showed up to see one of the greatest players of all-time and he was chilin’ on the bench in street clothes. Foul balls bruh!!!

Yeah, I know boyz do it all over the league now. It still doesn’t make it right.

Here’s the hater again, “Well technically they didn’t pay to see LeBron. They paid to see the Cleveland Cavaliers play the Pacers! So as long as the Cavs played there’s nothin’ you can really say.” 

Yeah, you sound like a complete fool with that one bruh. I know what the laws of marketin’ and promotion suggests. However, when the league promotes players instead of TEAMS then the fans are comin’ to see the superstars NOT the teams!

For years when the Lakers roll into town boyz were in the buildin’ to see the Mamba not the dun that plays behind him.

Let me put it where the goats can get it. If you’re sellin’ tickets to see the darn Jackson 5 and boyz show up and some dun named Mitchell is singin’ lead you’re probably ready to fight! Especially if Mike is sittin’ backstage completely healthy and he’s just restin’ for the night. You show up lookin’ to see Destiny’s Child and some chick named Bonita is singin’ instead of Beyonce’ you’re lookin’ to tear somebody’s head off! If you’ve waited all year to go to the circus to see the Elephant Man and they run the little cheetah boy out you’re throwin’ popcorn and soda demandin’ you’re bread back.

So don’t tell me about what technically is right or wrong! If LeBron or any dun with a GUARANTEED contract is healthy enough to play then they should be playin’. Allen Iverson used to pulled that foolishness all the time when they would come to Indiana. Now I’ve got no problem with a boy not playin’ the entire game but he could at least play a quarter just for that the fans that paid top dollar get to see him.  One hundred percent of the duns with Cavs gear on Wednesday night came to see LeBron!! Not his understudy and this isn’t a play.

At least when you go to see a play and the lead sits out the night you get the same lines! The part is the part whoever is playin’ it. Yeah, the lead might be a little better or more charismatic but the part  is the part. Nobody can play LeBron but LeBron.

And PLEASE don’t tell me that it’s a long season bruh! That’s what he get’s paid to do and he’s makin’ $30.9 million this year playa!!! He should be playin’ on his darn off days too! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.