The Jay Graves Report

Fake media-types are just pullin’ CFB rankings out of their butts! “Wheredeydodatat?”

"We'll take everything we can get at this point playboy!"

Aristotle once said, “Man is the only animal capable of reasoning, though many others possess the faculty of memory and instruction in common with him.” Ambrose Bierce gave it to us like this, “Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.” Then Arthur Schopenhauer broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when he spit, “The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived opinion, by prejudice.”

Well playas…these ole fake media-types continue to prevent the discovery of the truth because of their preconceived opinions and prejudices about college football. Instead of just lettin’ these boyz play for at least 4 weeks and then ranking them. They insist on this foolishness of just pullin’ rankings out of their butts. After 1 week of games these duns have panicked and just started ranking boyz everywhere with no logic anywhere in the freakin’ buildin’!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The preseason rankings were just as stupid because these cats don’t have any idea who’s on first and what’s on second but they do it anyway. Okay fine, now were into Week 2 rankings and the ignorance that has jumped out of the closet butt naked is ridiculous. Last week Texas was unranked before knockin’ off 10th ranked Notre Dame. Now with a double-overtime win at the crib against the Fightin’ Chamillionaires they’ve not only cracked the Top 25 but they’re all the way down to bein’ the 11th ranked team in the country! Wheredeydodatat?

Then you’ve got duns like Wisconsin that wasn’t anywhere near the Top 25 a week ago, are now ranked No.10 after beatin’ 5th ranked LSU. Then Houston jumps all the way from 15th to 6th in one week after beatin’ then ole bed wettin’ No.3 Oklahoma. How do we even know that Notre Dame and LSU even deserved to be ranked in the Top 10 in the first place.

What do we know bruh? Notre Dame goin’ in had ridiculous holes to fill. They had lost more returnin’ starters than anybody in all of college football bruh! They walked into the season without their top rusher, 3 of their leadin’ wide receivers, top 4 tacklers, sack leader and several offensive lineman from last year.  But because they were called Notre Dame these fake media-types had them in the Top 10. LSU was ready to run Les Miles out of town at the end of last season after losin’ 3 straight and theses duns had them startin’ the season off at No.5!! Again, Wheredeydodatat?

Let me put it where the goats could get it. Tennessee lost 4 ball games last year because they didn’t know how to close.  However, the logic of these cats were to rank them as high as No.9. Then when they completely wet the bed and struggled at home with Appalachian State they were bounced all the way back to No.17! That’s probably where they should have been in the first place. But they were ranked in the Top 10 because they had SEC on the backs of their helmets. C’mon bruh! Keep 100!!

Here’s the one that completely blows my mind!! The U (Miami) goes from bein’ unranked to crackin’ the Top 25 at 25 after beatin’ the brakes off of, get this playa, Florida A&M 70-3!! The freakin’ Marchin’ 100!! Their band is better than their football team bruh! They were supposed to beat them 70-3!!!

I get so tired of the perception of the game of college football bein’ in the hands of duns tryin’ to get clicks and sell magazines. Let these boyz play for at least 4 weeks before we start rankin’ them. We have no idea how good duns like Texas, Wisconsin or Miami are today. They’ve simply won their season opener. They could literally wet the bed the rest of the season. We don’t know. However, what I do know is that college football is the most excitin’ sport on the planet because of the foolishness that I just went off about. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN BRUH! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) Chamillionaire: noun – the rapper that had the huge song “Ridin’ Dirty”. I’m referencing the 5 Notre Dame players that were arrested a week before the season started with weed and a gun in the car.

1 Comment

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