The Jay Graves Report

ESPN…will you PLEASE stop puttin’ a microphone in LaVar Ball’s face? “It’s NAUSEATIN’!”


Why on Earth does ESPN keep puttin’ a camera and microphone in LaVar Ball’s face? Really though, why? This dun is up at 5am Saturday local time watchin’ the Lakers lose to Sacramento from the spa resort he’s stayin’ at in Birstonis, Lithuania where he’s in town to watch his younger sons make their professional debut. While he’s watchin’ Lonzo make his comeback from injury ESPN has a mic in his face.

He’s goin’ off about how the Lakers are no longer playin’ for Luke Walton. He goes on to say, “You can see they’re not playing for Luke no more. That’s a good team. Nobody wants to play for him” etc. I’m quite sure you’ve read all of the quotes everywhere.

Then he goes in on why Luke doesn’t know what he’s doin’ because he sat Lonzo down when LaVar thought that he should have kept him in the game. Lonzo has missed six games due to an injury so this was his first game back. Anybody that’s been around the NBA for five minutes knows that coaches restrict minutes on cats comin’ off of injury to ease them back into the flow of things. Ole boy had 11 points and 5 dimes in 27 minutes of play and Walton put the breaks on him. It’s a long season playa.

If that wasn’t enough he starts talkin’ about LeBron goin’ to LA. He says, “LeBron’s coming to L.A. I know he’s coming to L.A.. LeBron is not a fool. What’s the only way he can beat Jordan? You can’t get more championships. Only one way, to say every team I’ve gone to I’ve won a championship. Go to Lakers and win a championship, then you’re better than Jordan.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! LaVar talks to hear himself talk and it’s shameful that a dun is up at 5am knockin’ on his door to listen to him foam at the mouth. Every coach that’s ever coached his kids, accordin’ to him, doesn’t know a thing about basketball. However, he’s taken his own children out of school, especially his youngest child who’s 16 years old, that’s yet to graduate from high school and shipped them to Lithuania. But everybody is crazy.

He knows what’s best for a professional athlete when he’s never trained or coached one before. He knows how many minutes an NBA player should play comin’ off of injury when he’s got no experience in that category at all. He now knows what’s best for LeBron and his family because it makes sense to him and his son for LeBron to come to LA. Wheredeydodatat?

Now I could care less where LeBron plays next year because wherever the dun plays it’ll be in the NBA and I’ll be coverin’ it. But to suddenly start talkin’ about where a grown man should be playin’ and why he should to do it is crazy.

Bruh…worry about your own kids and how they’re goin’ to get out of the Lithuania basketball league and start playin’ against some real basketball players. And ESPN!!! Stop talkin’ to this cat!!! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!

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