The Jay Graves Report

Dion Lewis saves Patriots from lookin’ a Hot Mess against Texans! “Three Ways”

FOXBORO, MA - JANUARY 14: Dion Lewis #33 of the New England Patriots celebrates after scoring a touchdown in the fourth quarter against the Houston Texans during the AFC Divisional Playoff Game at Gillette Stadium on January 14, 2017 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

Everybody and their baby’s momma, Ms. Jackson, picked New England to beat the brakes off of Houston and the final score, 34-16, looked like a complete beat down too. Brock Osweiler must have been one of those cats pickin’ the Patriots to win it big too. Why? Because the dun threw three dull picks to help them secure a six straight appearance in the AFC title game.

New England didn’t play all that great and without the dull picks thrown by Osweiler it could have been a different outcome. C’mon bruh!! Everybody knows that you can’t turn the ball over especially on the road, especially in the playoffs!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Patriots weren’t clickin’ on all cylinders like they normally do about this time of year. However, Dion Lewis definitely had some of Big Momma’s fish and grits before the game because that dun went off!! He scored three touchdowns in three different ways. He ran a boy, caught a boy and returned a kick off 98 yards on a boy.

So Tom Brady needs to take Lewis out to dinner every night for the next month for savin’ his butt. Brady will get the credit for leadin’ this team to the Super Bowl if they win next week but it was Lewis that got them over the hump this week. Brady threw two dull picks in this game after only throwin’ 2 all season long. Yeah, wherever that dun wants to eat playa. I’m just sayin’ and stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Ms. Jackson: noun – rap song by OutKast

2) Spit: verb – to say

3) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!