The Jay Graves Report

Dak Prescott won’t survive the Jerry Jones foolishness! “Lowdown”

"You already know bruh!"

Albert Einstein jumped out of the whip and shouted, “It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.” Edward Dmytryk, the famous film director, pulled up in a Deuce and a Quarter with the windows cracked at brow and hollered, “In art, the obvious is a sin.” Then Jessica Capshaw, the actress, put the joint on three wheels and parked it when she spit, “Listen, the obvious thing to remember is without dark, there is no light, and without light, there is no dark.”

Well playas…without Dak Prescott there are no 6 game win streaks and without Tony Romo boyz ain’t losin’!!! It’s obvious to everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson, who should be startin’ in Dallas but the dun that owns the joint. After Dallas beat Philly 29-23 in overtime on Sunday this cat is still talkin’ about Tony Romo’s health and availability. This Thursday will mark 10 weeks for his recovery in which the doctors told them that he’d be out 6-10 weeks. So Jerry is still talkin’ like a mad man and the possibility of ole boy startin’ at some point.

At least he’s not foamin’ at the mouth crazy and can see that ole boy isn’t ready to come back yet because he’s still limited at practice. Here’s what he actually had to say, “That’s subject to Jason Garrett making the decision, but as far as the health issue is concerned of Tony, there’s no need in pushing it that fast. That’s more about Tony’s health than any of the other issues we want to all give. Tony’s making a lot of progress. We’re excited about that, but at this particular time I don’t have any more [to] clarify. My opinion is Dak will start against Cleveland.” But the dun wouldn’t speak beyond next week.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That’s the problem with the freakin’ owner bein’ the GM and the president of the team. None of those calls should even be his as the owner bruh. Football people should be makin’ football decisions. Like the darn coaches!!! Duh! Everybody knows that Tony Romo ain’t worth two dead flies smashed! He’s got excellent skill sets as a quarterback but he doesn’t have the “IT” factor like Dak Prescott does.

Think about this bruh, Dak was able to turn Mississippi State into a Top 10 program when he was in Starkville! They used to call the joint “StarkVegas!!” You read that right!! Mississippi State!! I didn’t say Alabama, Texas, Michigan, Ohio State or USC!! I said ole dull Mississippi State!!! Now he’s got the Cowboys ballin’ and Jerry still even remembers Tony Romo’s name? C’mon bruh!!!

As soon as Dak started winnin’ I would have been polishin’ Romo up to ship that dun out on the next train. The Cowboys are 6-1 under Prescott. You can’t make a change at quarterback now! And you definitely can’t insert ole dull mistake prone Tony Romo in there.

If Jerry is so adamant about playin’ Tony then he needs to start a summer league 7 on 7 and let that dun play because Dak Prescott is the starter for the Dallas Cowboys.

Now you and I both know that Jerry Jones is ONLY goin’ to be willin’ to win football games and Super Bowls if he’s makin’ the decisions. So logic just dove out of the window. Let me give you the history of this cat on makin’ power moves to destroy the success of the team on the field.

In 1989, he purchased the Cowboys from H.R. “Bum” Bright for $140 million. Shortly thereafter, he pulled his first power move by firin’ long time head coach Tom Landry, to that point the only coach in the team’s history. He then hired his old teammate from the University of Arkansas and former University of Miami head coach, Jimmy Johnson. If that wasn’t enough he forced out longtime general manager, Tex Schramm, and assumed complete control over all football operations. He’s been the Wizard of OZ ever since! Wheredeydodatat?

After bringin’ in Jimmy Johnson the Cowboys won back to back Super Bowls in 1992 and 1993 but the followin’ year in 1994 Jerry fired him! How does a cat get fired after winnin’ back to back Super Bowls? Well, I guess it’s easy to lose your job when you’re workin’ for a clown that wants all of the credit! If someone else gets the praise for winnin’ then he’s got to go! Wheredeydodatat?

Put your seat belts on for this one homeboy! He then brings in former University of Oklahoma coachin’ legend Barry Switzer. Within a year they win yet another Super Bowl in 1995 but good ole Jerry got jealous of the attention that his head coach was gettin’ so he fired Barry too! Well, maybe both Barry and Jimmy told him to get out of the way and let them coach and he couldn’t  take it. Wheredeydodatat?

So if you really think that Jerry Jones is goin’ to sit in the cut and let boyz tell him who should start for his football team for obvious reasons, think again. That dun is willin’ to lose to make EVERY single decision that has to do with the Dallas Cowboys. So in my Huggy Lowdown voice, “Waaaait for it!” Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Whip: noun – luxury vehicle

2) Deuce and a Quarter: noun – Electra 225 automobile from 1959-1990

3) Cracked at Brow: verb – to have the windows on the car rolled down to eyebrow level where you can only see the top of the driver’s head.

4) Spit: verb – to say

5) Ms. Jackson: noun – rap song by the group OutKast

6) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

7) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!