The Jay Graves Report

Cuonzo Martin and the Mizzou Tigers are about to be a problem in the SEC bruh!

"Oh you right playboy! It's about to be a problem in the SEC!" Photo: Courtesy of Cal Athletics CAL ATHLETICS

Boyz in ANY HOOD, USA are sittin’ in the barber shop this mornin’ sayin’ the same thing after watchin’ Cuonzo Martin do his thing on the recruitin’ trail at Mizzou. “Y’all done messed up now!” Not only did ole boy take the job at Missouri this year but he pulled the major power move and hired Michael Porter Sr.

Well playas…you ask the question, why was that a power move? He wasn’t anything special bruh! He was on Lorenzo Romar’s staff at Washington that got fired this year and prior to that he was on his sister-n-law’s staff coachin’ women’s basketball at Mizzou from 2013-16. How was that a power move Jay?

It was a power move because everybody and their baby’s momma slept on the fact that he’s got two kids that are MONSTERS on the basketball court playa. So by hirin’ their old man he’s got the best access in the world at his kids. So shortly after hirin’ daddy Porter he signed Michael Porter Jr. the 6’10” 215-pound forward who who is projected to be the top pick in the next NBA draft!! Now his younger brother, Jontay the 6’11” 240-pound stud, who is the No.10 player in the country in the Class of 2018 has decided to reclassify, dip from the high school ranks and join his old man and older brother at Mizzou this year bruh.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! It’s about to be a problem down in the SEC. Mizzou is about to jump all over cats in a conference where they can’t shoot hoop anyway. The only team that can play some ball is Kentucky. They’ve got the easiest route to the NCAA Tournament EVERY year.

Not only did Cuonzo grab two of the best players in the country but he’s got other stud rollin’ on too. He’s bringin’ in two more ESPN 100 freshmen in big man Jeremiah Tilmon and point guard Blake Harris. Not to mention Canisius grad transfer Kassius Robertson. Ole boy drained the three at more than 40 percent each of the past two seasons and he’s eligible to play right away. NUTS!!!

Did I mention that Cuonzo has his top three scores from last season comin’ back? It’s about to be a problem up in this piece playboy. I’m glad to see coach Martin do his thing. Why am I pullin’ for him? Because he was my homeboy Glenn “Big Dog” Robinson’s roommate at Purdue. If he runs with someone from the G then he gets the G love. That’s how we roll. And he’s from East Saint Louis!! That ain’t nothin’ but The G!! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Ole Boy: noun – the person that I’m talkin’ about.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!