The Jay Graves Report

Cubs and Indians in a “Po Pimp” Situation tonight! “Do Ya Wanna Ride?”

"Fa you and ya momma!"

As I was standin’ out in front of the brown bag waitin’ for my food these three cats started arguing’ about survival. John F. Kennedy said, “Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.” Bear Grylls, the British adventurer, pulled up with a ride full of gangstas and shouted, “Survival can be summed up in three words – never give up. That’s the heart of it really. Just keep trying.” Then Jamais Cascio, the author, came out of the joint and knocked over everybody’s food when he spit, “Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.”

Well playas…the Chicago Cubs have definitely overcome the unexpected durin’ this World Series bruh! They were down 3-1 early on lookin’ like the same ole Cubs lookin’ for ole dull Steve Bartman to blame for the collapse. Then all of a sudden they became the Cubs that everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson, have been watchin’ this season. They’ve won 2 straight to force a “Po Pimp” Do or Die situation! For all of you non hip hop fans out there, that means that boyz have forced a Game 7 for all the marbles!!!

“Do ya wanna riiiiiiiide in the back seat of a Caddy and chop it up with Do or Die?”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I could give two dead flies smashed about some darn baseball bruh but it’s the Cubs!! Like a wrote in the Crazy Hot Joint entitled “Loyalty” last week that I only want to see them win because I grew up in “The G” just 10 minutes from the southside of Chicago and everybody loves the Cubs! I’m not talkin’ about the duns that have pulled all kinds of hamstrings and twisted ankles jumpin’ on their bandwagon since the playoffs started.

I’m talkin’ about the duns that have been ridin’ with these boyz for 100 plus years!! Now obviously I’m don’t know any cats that have been runnin’ with them for 100 years but I know some cats that have been diehard Cubs fans for 80!! And all of my friends have been literally in the car with these fools for over 45 years!!

Now that it’s a Po Pimp? It’s NUTS!!!! Trust me bruh, watchin’ baseball for me is like watchin’ paint dry with my toes stuck in pop bottles like Ray Gibson and Claude Banks at Camp 8 boss! It’s unwatchable but for all of my boyz who have been sufferin’ for decades watchin’ the hapless Cubs I can at least get in the car and cheer for them to win a championship once in 108 years. I’m cheerin’ for my friends not the darn Cubs playa. I could give a rip about the Cubs because I don’t like baseball.

But here’s the crazy thing about all of this foolishness. Everybody is missin’ out on the unbelievable story comin’ out of Cleveland!! They hadn’t won a professional sports championship in 52 years and then won the NBA title less than 5 months ago. Now they’re on the verge of winnin’ the World Series tonight? They went from nothin’ in 52 years to potentially 2 titles in 5 months? Are you kidding me? So you already know that boyz in Cleveland are havin’ panic attacks wearin’ catheters this mornin’ too.

If they weren’t playin’ the Cubs that’s all duns would be talkin’ about.

You can’t have a pulse and not be dialed into this foolishness. If you love competition then this is the ultimate high for yo butt! And that’s the edited version. Cubs versus Indians tonight for all of the marbles and the crazy thing is, somebody’s gotta lose. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Brown Bag: noun – hood take out joint where all of the food is put into brown bags. It’s normally, fish, chicken, tacos or burgers and they can all be made at the same joint.

2) Spit: verb – to say

3) Ms. Jackson: noun – rap song by OutKast

4) The G: noun – Gary, Indiana

5) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

6) My toes stuck in pop bottles like Ray Gibson and Claude Banks at Camp 8 boss!: verb phrase – that’s a reference from the movie “Life” starring Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk! 


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