The Jay Graves Report

Colts puttin’ way too much pressure on Andrew Luck! “PERFECT”

"It's gonna be a long season playboy!"

Charles Horton Cooley, the well-known sociologist, once said, “Unless a capacity for thinking be accompanied by a capacity for action, a superior mind exists in torture.” Eduardo Galeano, the Uruguayan journalist, gave it to us like this, “The purpose of torture is not getting information. It’s spreading fear.” Then Jake Kevorkian, the ole dull suicide doctor, put it where the goats could get it when he spit, “It’s the boredom that kills you. You read until you’re tired of that. You do crossword puzzles until you’re tired of that. This is torture. This is mental torture.”

Well playas…watchin’ the Indianapolis Colts this year will be torture! Mental torture bruh! On Sunday at Lucas Oil Stadium boyz got a glimpse of the season to come. After a disappointin’ loss to perennial loser Detroit 39-35 boyz are doin’ some serious soul searchin’ this mornin’ lookin’ for answers.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The game of football is a game of attrition. However, you would expect that the attrition would start to occur at Week 9 or later in the season. Not durin’ trainin’ camp and in Week 1!!! The Colts defense is a Hot Mess right now because of all of the injuries in the secondary.

Not to mention all of the snake bites durin’ camp but then boyz started to get picked off against Detroit. In one series late in the first half safety T.J. Green went down with a sprained knee, corner Patrick Robinson sustained a concussion. They never returned to the fight.  Sio Moore got banged up and dipped along with Antonio Cromartie  with a wrist injury but they both bounced right back. Then Winston Guy left late in the ball game with a ankle injury and didn’t return.

The Colts trainin’ room looked like a M.A.S.H. Unit after the game. The defense will be suspect all season because of boyz bein’ banged up. Most of those ankle and wrist injuries are those that boyz can play with but they just keep bein’ a bother. So guess what playa? Now Andrew Luck and Co. on the offensive side of the ball have to put up crazy points every night in order to give themselves just a chance to win.

They scored 35 points on Sunday and loss! Wheredeydodatat? Luck’s numbers were NUTS and he loss bruh!!! The dun was 31 of 47 for 385 yards and four touchdowns with a QB rating of 119.5!!! And he had to take an “L”!! That’s not good. In other words, he’s gotta put up those type of numbers or better EVERY week in order to have a chance at winnin’. You already know that the Colts can’t run the football. Yesterday marked the 51st straight game where they had less that 100 yards rushing. That means that Andrew Luck has to play the perfect game EVERY week with nobody on the offensive side of the ball gettin’ hurt. Impossible bruh!

It’s gonna be a long season bruh. I’m just sayin’! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!