The Jay Graves Report

Colts may be down to Bobby Boucher or Yoda now that McDaniels has stayed put! “Dumpster Fire”

"Did you really do 'um like that bruh? Yep!!!

When everybody and their baby’s momma thought that it was lookin’ up for the Colts the Patriots did it to them again. On the night before Josh McDaniels was supposed to be introduced as Indianapolis’ new head coach ole boy did an about face.

At the last minute he decided to stay in New England leavin’ the Colts scramblin’ for a plan B. Now accordin’ to my mans and nem, ole Robert Kraft talked a boy into stayin’ by sweetenin’ the deal. He was never sold on comin’ to Indianapolis in the first place so that made it easy to entice him. He kept goin’ back and fourth about the decision and Irsay and Co. had to meet with the dun on a second occasion because he wasn’t all that comfortable with movin’ his family.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Colts are a straight up dumpster fire right now bruh. They’ve got no head coach and nobody has a clue as to whether Andrew Luck can throw a ball over his shoulder right now.

The problem is that all of the coaches that were available are no longer waitin’ on an Uber to get to Indianapolis playa. They’ve all taken jobs. Matt Nagy, the former Chiefs offensive coordinator (OC), took the Bears job. Now you know it’s bad when a boy takes the Bears job over any openin’.

Kris Richard, the former Seahawks defensive coordinator (DC) bounced to go to Dallas as their passin’ game coordinator.  Mike Vrabel, the former DC for the Texans took the Titans gig. Steve Wilks that used to be the Carolina Panthers DC went to the Cardinals and Matt Rhule from Baylor told a boy that he was goin’ to Kizzy. So now what?

They’ll be interviewin’ Bobby Boucher from the Water Boy on Thursday and then Coach Carter will be in on Friday mornin’. If neither of them work out they’ll have to turn to Yoda.

Bruh…you know it has to be bad when nobody wants the job. Let me put it where the goats can get it. Andrew Luck must be more damaged than a boy wants to lead on or Belichick’s about to dip and he’s next in line. Those are the only two options. I’m just sayin’. You say it with me, “Straight up dumpster fire!!!” Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

3) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.

4) Kizzy: noun – Kunta Kinte’s daughter who’s name means to stay put.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!

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