The Jay Graves Report

Charlie Strong has boyz out here lookin’ Big Momma bad! “Indefensible”

"Tell them to be at my house first thing in the mornin' to start packin' bruh! No way I'm surviving' this foolishness!"

On Saturday afternoon I was sittin’ around watchin’ college football with some old timers and we got to talkin’ about a boy’z reputation. Abraham Lincoln looked up and said, “Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” Warren Buffett raised up from his plate of wings and shouted, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” Then Benjamin Franklin put his feet up on the couch and spit the realest joint ever spoken when he said, “It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only one bad one to lose it.”

Well playas…ole Charlie Strong did a many good deeds to build a good reputation and one bad one has lost it. On Saturday that dun took the Texas Longhorns up to dull Kansas and got beat in overtime 24-21. You read that right bruh! Texas!  Not Georgia State or Troy State or Vanderbilt or the Florida School of the Blind or the Downtown Corrective Shoes Institute. That dun took the Texas Longhorns to Lawrence and took an “L”!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I’ve been defendin’ Charlie since the day he stepped foot in Austin because the powers that be didn’t want him there in the first place. The only cat in town that really wanted him was the athletic director at the time and he’s since been fired. I, like most people, were ridin’ hard for Charlie because I knew that he was a really good coach that simply needed some time to turn the foolishness at UT around.

On some real talk, they kept Mac Brown about 3 years too long so it was goin’ to take some time to turn the ship around. They had been decimated in the recruitin’ game down there by dull Baylor, TCU and Texas A&M. Not to mention the continued dismantling of the Red River by Oklahoma. But it’s still Texas!! Just win the games you’re supposed to win and knock off a couple of legitimate boyz from time to time and that would buy you some time. He beat OU last year and Notre Dame Week 1 of this year so just win the game you’re supposed to win and you’re good. Right? Wrong! Because that dun won’t follow directions.

So I’m like Big Momma defendin’ her grand baby to the end when the teacher calls and says that her kid is actin’ a fool in school. The teacher finally calls and says that he’s always doin’ something crazy and we believe that he’s stealin’! “What? My baby don’t steal! You got me messed up! How dare you say that my baby is a thief! I’ll come up there and jump all over you. Don’t you ever say my baby isn’t honest.” 

Then they take the school on a field trip to the grocery store to teach them a lesson on commerce and this dun gets back on the bus with a pocket full of stuff. And that’s the edited version. Now Big Momma has to come up to the school and eat her words. In other words, he’s got her out here lookin’ crazy because she can n longer defend this fool.

Well that’s me out here this mornin’ with Charlie Strong. I’m tellin’ boyz to give him time because he can coach! He can turn the joint around bruh! Trust me! And then he soils the mattress and his clothes out in Lawrence.

Let me put it where the goats can get it because I don’t think you understand playa. He loss to the University of Kansas! In football not basketball! Kansas has only won 2 of their last 31 games pimpin’!! They haven’t won a Big 12 game since November of 2014. I don’t care if the dun had Texas undefeated goin’ into Saturday’s matchup. If you EVER lose to Kansas that’s a fireable offense. It’s indefensible!!!

If I believe in you I’ll ride hard for you but when you start losin’ your bladder. I’ve gotta get out of the car and I’m officially gettin’ out this mornin’. Why? Because you got me out here lookin’ bad. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.

4) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!