The Jay Graves Report

Cavs go to the projects in Game 4 to blast Golden State! “Po Pimp”

"Trust and believe it's bout to be on playboy!" Photo: ABC News

Samuel Johnson, the English poet and essayist, once said, “Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.” Thomas Carlyle, the Scottish philosopher, broke it down like this, “Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” Then John Quincy Adams poured out a little liquor for all the dead homies when he spit, “Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.”

Well playas…the difficulties certainly disappeared and the obstacles vanished on Friday night in Cleveland for some boyz that were essentially dead in the water comin’ into the joint. Everybody and their baby’s momma had the Cavs gettin’ swept, includin’ me, after goin’ down 0-3!! However, these duns found some pride in the projects somewhere between Quicken Loans Arena and LeBron’s crib.

They jumped out of the birthday cake butt naked foamin’ at the mouth, did a summersault off of the cake stand into the punch bowl and beat the brakes off of Golden State 137-116!  Not only did they play with some heart but they broke records in scorin’ in the process. They put up a record 49 points in the first quarter then turned around and put up 86 in the first half. That’s NUTS!!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Golden State was supposed to walk into Cleveland last night, turn the tables over, beat the brakes off of the Cavs and walk out with the trophy but that didn’t happen. Duns all over TV and radio in the 48 hours prior to the game were throwin’ pie in LeBron’s face and tellin’ him that he was a sucka for gettin’ swept by the GREATEST TEAM we’ve ever seen, which is crazy to me.

The dun is averagin’ a freakin’ triple double for the series and boyz are questionin’ whether he’s ballin’ or not? Ole boy put up 31 points, 11 assists and 10 rebounds last night! Kyrie jumped out of the ride and gave ‘um 40 points, 7 rebounds and 4 assists!! Kevin Love showed up with 23 on his way to Big Momma’s house and even JR Smith came out of the cocoon and put up 15!!

But more importantly, boy’z pride wouldn’t let them go out like some suckas even though they’re playin’ the best team we’ve ever seen.

Now it’s a different story line bruh. It’s called one game at a time. No one has ever come out of a 0-3 deficit to win the Finals but no one had ever come out of a 1-3 deficit when they beat these cats last year. So now it’s a one game at a time “Po Pimp” Do or Die situation! “Do you wanna riiiiide in the back seat of a Caddy and chop it up with Do or Die?”

Now do I think Cleveland can still win this series? Absolutely not!!! However, as a basketball fan I would love to see it go 7 games because I picked the Cavs in 7 before this joint started. But Golden State has way too much fired power for them to fold the tents like they did last year. Not with KD on the floor. That dun put up 35 last night!!!

The key was that Steph pulled a “Skittles and Lemonheads” on them like he’s done for the past two Finals and disappeared when they needed him but nobody dives on him for that. He scored 14 points and Klay only gave them 13. That’s a problem!

While everybody was questionin’ that Philistine’s greatness he simply passed MJ again on a scorin’ list. He walked on past him for third all-time on the Finals scorin’ list with 1,176 points. The only two cats with more points are Jerry West, the freakin’ logo of the NBA, with 1,679 and Kareem with 1,317!! That’s NUTS!!!

And while boyz were playin’ he slipped on past Magic for No.1 all-time in Finals triple doubles!! But boyz will still try to argue that he’s not the greatest all around basketball player we’ve ever seen!! Did I mention that the dun is only 32? So when he finishes playin’ this game he’ll be No.1 in most categories and top 10 in every one of them but he’s not the GOAT?

Game 5 in Oakland on Monday playas. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) Crib: noun – house

5) Skittles and Lemonheads: noun – Roy Hibbert

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!