The Jay Graves Report

Butler avoids havin’ to fight twice on Saturday by escapin’ DePaul! “Kitchen Window”

"Aw thanks bruh!! Because we did NOT wanna see Big Momma after this foolishness!"

Here’s the problem with coachin’ 18 to 22 year olds bruh. You never know what a boy is goin’ to do, especially when they’re good enough to win most games that they play. Well Butler’s Chris Holtmann is learnin’ that foolin’ around with his team right now. On Saturday his No.13 Bulldogs (17-3, 6-2 Big East) showed up in Chi-town to play the worse team in the darn league, the DePaul Blue Demons(8-12 1-6 Big East),  and barely got out of the joint alive with a 70-69 overtime win.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Butler was gettin’ their lunch money and sneakers taken on the playground in front of Big Momma for the first 20 minutes. They were down by as much as 20 points to some duns that have been gettin’ beaten up on lunch hour all season long!! DePaul has lost 8 of their last 9 ball games bruh!  C’mon playa! But Butler has trailed at the break in six straight conference games!! In my Vince Lombardi voice, “What the hell is goin’ on out here?”

You can’t be tusslin’ with the neighborhood nerd. Struggle with a boy that’s been bullyin’ the school and buildin’ a hard core reputation since November not the dun that everybody’s been knockin’ his hat off of his head. Then when he bends over to pick it up boyz kick him in the butt! Not that guy!

No way should it take Big Momma to have to come out on the porch and say, “You better fight ’em too! If you don’t fight back you gone have to fight me when you come in the house!” Every nerd in the ghetto has gotten that speech at least once in their lifetime. Especially after Big Momma looks out of the kitchen window and sees that a boy has on the sneakers that she just bought her baby yesterday. It’s not goin’ down like that bruh.

That was Butler on Saturday. Ole dull DePaul had on their new sneakers in the first half then Big Momma shut that foolishness down. Ethan Savage put his big boy pants on and knocked down 20 points and 5 rebounds. The freshman and team leader, Kamar Baldwin did not want to fight Big Momma after the game so he finished with 18 points, 5 rebounds and 2 assists just to keep her from even cursin’ his way. Kethan Martin added 12 points and 5 rebounds for the same reason.

Nobody wants to have to fight twice in the same day and lose both of them. Why?  Because if they had loss to ole dull DePaul they would have gotten the brakes beaten off of them by Big Momma. Trust me. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dull: adjective – to describe something as bein’ terrible, something that makes you sick with disgust because it’s so stupid to even think of.

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.