The Jay Graves Report

Boyz keep hollerin’ that LeBron was tired! That dun just didn’t show up! “Farts”

Love: "What's wrong with you tonight playa?" LeBron: "Uuuh!"Photo: Sports Illustrated

The one thing that drives boyz crazy about LeBron is that the dun has the physical gifts to do EVERYTHING there is to do on a basketball court and from time to time the dun will take a smoke break on you. He’s the greatest all-around basketball player we’ve ever seen. He can play all five positions and guard all 5. He can get his shot any kind of way he wants and he can get to the rack whenever he feels like it. Then all of a sudden the dun will brain fart on you and shut down.

On Sunday night in Game 3 at the crib when they’ve got Boston on the ropes bleedin’ from the mouth. Take that back bruh! They had them embalmed and puttin’ the darn make up on them. Then all of a sudden LeBron went 0-6 from the field and scored only one freakin’ point in final 18 minutes of the game!!! Wheredeydodatat?

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That’s the knock on this cat that Jordan or Kobe fans can’t excuse. In their minds neither Jordan or Kobe ever did that in the playoffs. In their minds Jordan or Kobe would shoot the rock all night long even if they were goin’ to lose the game. Well…that sounds good playa but they’ve all brain farted before. LeBron’s farts are magnified because it’s happenin’ in the present.

Now I’m definitely not excusin’ the most gifted player we’ve even seen with a basketball because if anybody in the history of basketball could get a shot off LeBron should be able to do it at will.

Here’s my Jordan fan screamin’ from the top of his lungs that “Jordan ALWAYS shot the ball bruh! He never packed it in!!” Since you boyz don’t wanna remember all the way back to 1989 let me jar your memory. The GREAT Michael Jordan shot the ball only 8 times in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals in a loss to Detroit who eventually won the championship that year. He finished with 18 points. However, the dun only took 8 shots the entire night because the Bad Boys were puttin’ that thang on him! He also went 9 of 35 in the Eastern Conference Finals Game 4 shootin’ 26 percent in 1997. But in Mike’s defense he got to the free throw line and still scored points.

Here’s the Kobe fan goin’ nuts tryin’ to tell boyz that “Kobe has NEVER fell apart or packed it in.”

Well playas….how we soon forget that duns are human and have packed it too. Durin’ the Western Conference Quarterfinals in 2006 the Mamba who was averagin’ 27.2 shot attempts that season only took 13 shots all night but surprisingly he only took three shots the entire second half!!

Ole boy was accused of quittin’ on his team but in his defense he still scored 24 points.

My point here is this, if duns play this game long enough they’re bound to have a terrible game. However, not scorin’ but one freakin’ point in the final 18 minutes is unacceptable!! Why? Because he can get buckets any kind of way he wants.

I keep hearin’ duns talk about him bein’ tired. What!!? Tired! They’ve been runnin’ through boyz like toilet paper the entire playoffs! He’s well rested. Naw playa, that dun just didn’t show up.

He’s the greatest player I’ve ever seen but the dun had a terrible game. It happens bruh!  Stop me when I start lyin’

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for “Who does that?”

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!

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