The Jay Graves Report

Bama destroys Clemson to set up an All-SEC National Title Game! “Wheredeydodatat?”

Bama quiets all the critics as they put that thang on Clemson in the Sugar Bowl 24-6. Photo: Salt Lake Tribune

Everybody and their Uncle LeRoy were darn near butt naked after watchin’ the offensive shootout in the Rose Bowl where Georgia finally outlasted Oklahoma 54-48. Boyz literally had to take a shower before watchin’ the Sugar Bowl because the first semifinal was so exhaustin’. The second semifinal, the trilogy, was into it’s second possession before we could even see it because the first game went into double overtime.

Luckily, it wasn’t the same offensive explosion as No.4 Alabama completely dominated No.1 Clemson with it’s stiflin’ defense to win 24-6. Nick Saban’s defense took matters into their own hands scorin’ 13 of their 24 points to set up an all SEC national title in SEC country next week in Atlanta.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Nobody but duns from Alabama wanted to see the Crimson Tide in the title game but Nick Saban is Nick Saban bruh. Don’t hate the playa hate the game. He’s killin’ the game right now and he’s THEE best college football coach we’ve ever seen.

I know boyz don’t want admit it but like I tell the LeBron haters. You better enjoy it while you can. It’s not often that you get to see the greatest at their respective trades get down. Nick is doin’ the impossible. He’s already won five national titles and will play for another one next week.

The dun that was his defensive coordinator just a year ago, Kirby Smart, will be standin’ on the other sideline coachin’ the Georgia Bulldogs just 45 minutes from their campus. That’s NUTS!!!!

Everybody knew that Bama’s defense would come into the joint ready to ball out because they had a full month to get healthy. They were banged up down the stretch of the regular season but when they made the playoff even lil’ Miss Johnson from church, that gives away the peppermints to all the kids, knew that Bama was about to be a problem.

I didn’t pick them because I thought Kelly Bryant and Co. would be too much for them but I was DEAD wrong. Bama was Bama and Nick Saban put everybody on notice, again. Did you see 308-pound defensive tackle De’Ron Payne show, in my momma’s voice, show “His bare bottom” out there? Ole boy intercepted a pass and put a move on a cat before bein’ illegally horse collared down. Then on the next Bama possession lined up at fullback and caught the darn touchdown pass makin’ sure both feet were inbounds? Wheredeydodatat?

When you’ve got cats that big that can do that it’s a wrap. So put ya seat belts on and get ya popcorn ready because it’s goin’ down in the “A” next week and stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.

3) Wheredeydodatat?: Hood for “Who does that?”

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!


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