The Jay Graves Report

At some point LaVar Ball’s gotta admit that the ZO2 isn’t functional bruh! “Horses”

"These feel good too bruh!" Photo: Ethan Miller for Getty Images

At some point LaVar Ball is goin’ to have to tell boyz that the Big Baller Brand ZO2’s ain’t worth two dead flies smashed as a functional basketball shoe. Earlier this week his son, Lonzo, put up the very first triple double of the NBA’s 13 year history of the Summer League rockin’ some Kobe’s. Then on Wednesday night the dun put up on the second ever triple double wearin’ some of James Harden’s Adidas.

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! A shoe to a basketball player is like clubs to a golfer bruh! A shoe to a hooper is like a car to a race car driver! If it isn’t functional they can’t eat. So when is LaVar goin’ to admit to a boy that his rushed shoe doesn’t work? Because there is no way that Lonzo would be advertisin’ the Nike and Adidas brands that they actually sat down with and were rejected by months ago.

Everybody with half of a brain knows that you can’t just jump into the shoe game and compete with companies that have been doin’ this for decades and come up with a shoe that’s better than what’s already on the market. C’mon bruh it takes time and millions of dollars of research to get on the level of Nike, Adidas and Reebok. Believe it or not, there is a certain amount of engineerin’ that goes into creatin’ a shoe. It’s not just about the look of the darn thing.

This is the NBA bruh!! Not the Gary Biddy Basketball league in 1973. Hoopers of all ages rely on the technology of the shoe to be able to run up and down the floor in comfort so that all they have to do is hoop. Lonzo is no different!!

You can’t rush a shoe out to the market and expect for it to do what Nike or Adidas shoes can do. First things first is that Lonzo’s gotta be able to be comfortable with what’s on his feet to play the darn game. Just because his old man can talk a big game doesn’t mean that the shoe will automatically work.

That’s like all of the suckas fallin’ for Conor McGregor’s act as he promotes this fight. He’s sound good talkin’ all types of trash but the dun can’t box. Talkin’ a good game isn’t goin’ to make his hands move any faster. So he’s great entertainment leadin’ up to the massacre but if the best fighters in the world can’t hit Floyd. What makes anybody think that a dun that has never boxed a day in his life is goin’ to beat a technician at doin’ what he does best? Boxin’!!!!

That’s like me tellin’ boyz that because I know how to drive I can win the Indy 500. Because I know how to ride a horse I’m goin’ to win the Kentucky Derby next year. I know how to run so I’m goin’ to get in the 100 meters at the 2020 Olympic Games and beat the best sprinter in the world. That’s sounds ignorant doesn’t it? And it doesn’t matter how much trash I talk I can’t do what I can’t do.

Lonzo Ball isn’t wearin’ the Big Baller Brand because the shoe isn’t functional. Otherwise, he’d be wearin’ it. They should have simply started the brand by sellin’ T-shirts and hats bruh. They don’t have to be all that functional for a boy to wear them. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!

1 Comment

  1. He didn’t put up the first triple double of Summer League in Kobe’s. He put up 36 pts, but not a triple double. The first triple double was in the ZO2s, 11/11/11 stat line. I had to stop you there, cuz you lyin.

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