The Jay Graves Report

Archie Miller just scared EVERY big time recruit away from IU after gettin’ blasted by Indiana State! “Done”

IU's Archie Miller lays an egg, wets the bed and throws up all over his shoes in his debut as the Hoosiers head man.

Everybody and their baby’s momma around this piece have been hollerin’ about Indiana basketball gettin’ back to prominence under new head coach Archie Miller. Well playas…if Friday night was any indication of where the program is headed under this cat. Boyz better cash in all of their chips now and get away from the table. All of the hoopla turned out to be a wet firecracker and a dull sparkler.

The Hoosiers got butt naked drug up and down the court by Indiana “freakin'” State 90-69 at the crib on Friday night!!! The key is to schedule a dun that you can run up and down the floor on openin’ night to get the fans blood flowin’. Not to GET drug up and down the floor by some cats that weren’t even supposed to be good in the darn Missouri Valley Conference. C’mon bruh!!!

If Indiana State can come in and not only beat you but blast you. Just turn off the lights in the gym and move that money over to Lacrosse or soccer or somethin’. I’d rather IU not even have a basketball program if Indiana State can come in and bust their butts.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Indiana State hasn’t been worth two dead flies smashed since 1979 when Larry Bird took them to the national title game. If Larry Bird were suited up then I would understand but he wasn’t runnin’ up and down the floor. There is a reason that a dun is playin’ at Indiana State bruh.

Let’s put into perspective of just how bad this loss was. First of all, they loss by 21 points in front of Big Momma, Uncle LeRoy, Aunt Kittie and Cousin Bob to dull Indiana State. Repeat that in your head like three times. On top of that, they snapped a 19 game winnin’ streak in season openers. A 32 game winnin’ streak in home openers and ole Archie became the first Indiana coach to lose his first game since Everett Dean in 1924. Gettin’ blasted by 21 points was the second-worst openin’ season loss in school history that dates back to darn 1914. That was the year my fraternity was founded. Are you kiddin’ me?

The Sycamores shot 59 percent from the field and 65 percent from behind the arc. They knocked down 17 three-pointers bruh. Wheredeydodatat? That means that IU didn’t play an ounce of defense. Where I’m from, after the 10th three a boy would have gotten punched in the throat. No way do you just let a boy keep launchin’ threes on you. Not where I’m from. G.I. for y’all that’s checkin’. You’ve got to play with some heart and IU never does.

What does that tell you about this team after one game? The same thing that it’s told me for years watchin’ IU basketball. That it has no heart. That is the constant with this program year after year. They play with no heart and they can’t recruit. We’ve got the best high school basketball in the country every year and none of these duns sniff IU. There are players littered all over the NBA from Indiana and only one of them when to freakin’ IU. Darn shame!!

Do you really think that a cat like Romeo Langford would chose Indiana over places like Duke, North Carolina, and Kansas after seein’ that foolishness on Friday night? Really bruh? That kid’s on his way to the NBA in another year. Why would he waste his time foolin’ around in Bloomington not makin’ the NCAA Tournament, losin’ to cats like Indiana State and gettin’ embarrassed in front of Big Momma when he’s only goin’ to be there for a year.

Goin’ to college next year is his job interview for the NBA. He’s tryin’ to play on the biggest stages to increase his draft status. Foolin’ around with IU could be detrimental to his stock. I’m tellin’ you to run away young thunder cat and I’m an IU grad. Bruh…go where you can maximize your potential and it sure isn’t at IU. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Wheredeydodatat?: Hood for “Who does that?”

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!