|"Yeah I got somethin' for ya playa!"|
The Washington Wizards must have been listenin’ to Machiavelli long before Tupac looked him up playboy because they ran off in the joint and completely destroyed the Indiana Pacers 102-96. Now the score was in no way indicative of the beat down that they took on their home floor bruh.
After gettin’ pushed into a corner in the ATL and being down 3-2 the Pacers found some intestinal fortitude and won two straight to advance to the Eastern Conference semi-finals. Even ole dull Roy Hibbert got out of the car in game 7 on Saturday night to finish with 13 points and 7 rebounds.
So now it’s all good right? These cats have regained their swagger, everybody knows how to unbuckle their seat belts and turn off the child locks for those sittin’ in the back right? It’s all good...right? Because you've got some cats comin’ in that have lost 12 straight in your building, haven’t clinched a playoff berth since 2008 and haven’t advanced to the second round since 2005! No trip at all right?
Knowing all of that, the Pacers pulled up in the green minivan paying attention to the duns beggin’ across the street and got bum rushed gettin’ out of the ride.
Bradley Beal went to work on these boyz as he unloaded 25 into the driver side door. Trevor Ariza was simply unconscious as he snuck up on the passenger side and hit ‘em up for 22. The crazy thing about ole Trevor was that he was efficient with his bullets too. He shot 70 percent from the field and 100 percent from behind the arc. That means that he stood across the street and launched six bombs and connected on all of them. As a team they shot 62 percent from three as well.
The Wizards dove on top of the van and completely destroyed the Pacers on the glass 53-36 while everybody scrambled for cover but Roy.
While the fellas were at least trying to fight these cats off, Roy never got out of the ride again bruh. As a matter of fact, call Biggie and find out what Brooklyn basement that dun is tied up in bruh! Because he finished with a solid double-double, 0 points and 0 rebounds! Wheredeydodatat? Did I mention that he was 7’2” 290 lbs.? He did have 5 personal fouls in 18 minutes of play though.
So while boyz were inside gettin’ body slammed with a two piece and a biscuit he was outside in the getaway car looking out for the police. From time to time he’d jump out and slap a boy on the hand and get back in the ride.
Listen up bruh, the intent here is not to register fouls for the sake of fouling. Now if the foul helps then it’s all good but if all you’re doing is slappin’ boyz on the hand and the fellas are gettin’ carjacked in the process then it’s a waste of time. Unless you're purposely trying to get put out of the game and he wasn't even successful at doin' that for crying out loud.
Every other starter finished in double figures! George Hill and Paul George led the team with 18, David West put in work with 15 and 12 on a boy and Lance The Don Dada Mr. #BornReady himself put 12 and 6 in the pot. They shot as a team darn near 41 percent from the field and 47 percent from three.
Even with Beal and Ariza goin’ to work on them they still had a chance to win it in the end. If the biggest cat on the floor gives you let’s say 4 rebounds and 7 freakin’ points at the minimum you win the game! Now you've let some cats come in and steal home court advantage along with your innocence on the first date bruh. You gave it up without even gettin’ dinner to some duns that haven’t won in your building since April of 2007! Not to mention that they haven’t won a second round playoff game since April of 1982!
There are only three cats on the entire Wizards roster that were even alive in 1982! Andre Miller was 6, Al Harrington was 2 and Drew Gooden was 7 months old! The rest of these duns weren’t even dreams yet! And that’s the edited version bruh!
Boyz were wearing Members Only jackets, carrying boom boxes bumpin’ the ultimate joint “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five! Do you have any idea how many times boyz have sampled that song since it came out? Ask Ice Cube and P. Diddy how good that joint was if you think I'm lyin'.
In my Hank Stram voice, “What the hell is going on out here!” You can’t play the entire season for home court advantage only to give it up on the first night in both round one and two! That's a problem! At some point ole Frank’s gotta bail on Roy playboy! If you’re not gettin’ anything out of him then you gotta ride with Mahimni and that’s real talk!
So gettin' back to what my man Machiavelli said earlier. Did the Wizards merely offend the Pacers or did they injure them to the point where they won't retaliate? We'll see in Game 2 on Wednesday night pimpin'! We shall see! And oh yeah, stop me when I start lyin’!
Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!