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" Swagger is merely having the ability to walk into a room and being able to change the atmosphere in it without saying a word!" -JayGraves-

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Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Stage Fright (How Lance agitated the bears, started the fire & ran offon the Pacers)

"Who me?"
Roberto Assagioli, the famous Italian psychiatrist, once said, “Without forgiveness life is governed by…an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” Jeff Cooper, the creator of “the modern technique” of handgun shooting, said it this way, “The will to survive is not as important as the will to prevail…the answer to criminal aggression is retaliation.” Then Albert Camus, the French Nobel prize winning author, broke a boy off with, “Retaliation is related to nature and instinct, not to law. Law, by definition, cannot obey the same rules as nature.”

Well I guess that nature and instinct took over on Monday night as the Miami Heat pulled a Debo on the Indiana Pacers 102-90 in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals. They dominated the ball game from the word go and never even trailed. It wasn’t "Friday" but the Pacers got knocked the “freak” out and that’s the edited version playboy.

Between games 3 and 4 Lance The Don Dada Mr. #BornReady himself went to the Miami zoo and started pokin’ the bears as I explained in my Hot Joint entitled "Polar Bears" yesterday. In case you’ve been under a rock for the past 48 hours ole boy said that LeBron was showin’ a sign of weakness because he was trash talkin’ with him. Well… after the game last night he said, “I was trying to get into his head. I guess he stepped up and got the win.” Ya think playboy? He then goes on to say, “I can take the heat.” Can you? Because it doesn't like you can handle either one pimpin’?

Not only did the Polar Bear step his game up but all of his boyz climbed the partition like BeyoncĂ© too. Chris Bosh has been missin’ for about two weeks and finally decided to come home. It’s gotten so bad for that dun that I saw him on my milk carton just yesterday morning. Then all of a sudden he comes into the buildin’ and goes to work on these boyz puttin’ up the Heat’s first 8 points and finishin’ with 25.

Once the bears got goin’ last night they were destroyin’ everything in their path. LeBron went nuts and put up 32 points and 10 rebounds. It was the 74th playoff game where that Philistine had at least 25 points, 5 rebounds and 5 assists passin’ MJ for the most in NBA history. It was also the 66th postseason game where ole boy had 30 points or more surpassin’ Jordan as well.

"Daaaannnnggggg bruh!"
Now keep in mind playboy, that this dun is only 29 years old. Jordan’s stats are in the books. That means for all of you simple minded individuals out there, he’s already surpassed what Jordan was able to do in those categories for his ENTIRE career and this dun still has at least 7 more good years to play. Chew on that for a minute while you’re rockin’ those hip huggin’ Hanes underwear and that brand new old pair of shoes that that dun keeps sellin’ and you keep buyin’!

D. Wade, on a set of bad knees, put 15 in the kitty to keep the Pacers at bay all night.

Not only did the bears climb the fence on a boy but they like my man @1070Bruno said in a tweet that he sent last night after the game in response to my Hot Joint yesterday, “Result not surprising at all. Lance poked the bear and the bear ate the whole family, the tent and the car.”

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Did that Philistine and Co. decide to play harder as a result of Lance’s comments? Not at all because they’re professionals and were gonna come to work anyway. Did they zone in on steppin’ their games up as a result of some young cat talkin’ crazy to the best player in the world? You darn right they did! And that’s the edited version.

What Lance has to understand is that this is Broadway playa! There is no bigger stage than this but the Finals! So guess what pimpin’? If you’re gonna start talkin’ crazy before the show you can’t afford to forget your freakin’ lines! He did all of that talkin’ and got on stage and froze up. That dun didn’t score a single bucket until the freakin’ bears were full and fartin’ darn near bout to pass out from the smell of some old school Lagerfeld cologne because some dun on the Pacers keeps wearin’ it.

He finished with 9 points, 5 rebounds and 4 dimes. That would have been cool for Luis Scola comin’ off of the bench but not for the dun that told the world that he’s gettin’ into LeBron’s head. Ole boy talked all that noise and saw the bears climbin’ the wall on everybody and ran off without even tellin’ ‘em to watch their backs.

Boyz looked up and saw Lance sprintin’ the other way and the next thing they know there's a 6’8” 270 lb. Philistine goin’ bananas. On some real talk, the Pacers didn’t play a bad game. They out rebounded the Heat 37 vs. 34, they shot a better field goal and 3-point percentage 49 & 43 percent vs. 46 &33 and they outscored them in points in the paint 40 vs. 38. However, the green elephant named “Turnover” keeps pullin’ his pants down in public bruh. They had 14 vs. the Heat’s 5 and ole dull Roy Hibbert didn’t show up.

Even with Lance pokin’ the freakin’ bears and forgettin’ his lines they still had a shot to win this game if the tallest man in the freakin’ arena wasn’t sittin’ in the car listenin’ to Luther with his foot hangin’ out of the window. This cat finished scoreless and with 5 funky rebounds.

David West and Paul George were out there battlin’ with the bears bruh. They put in work under the circumstances. D. West finished with a solid double-double, 20 points and 12 rebounds. PG put up 23 and 7 while George Hill gave the homies 15 from the point position as Luis Scola dropped off 12 from the bench.

So in essence, Lance started the fire and ran off and Roy didn’t even bother gettin’ out of the whip even though he saw the fire blazin’ and the bears roamin’! Now these cats have to go back to the crib down 1-3 starin’ down the barrel of a gun, with one foot in the air and the other on a banana peel. Why? Because Miami is 8-0 in Game 5’s when holdin’ a 3-1 lead on a boy over the past four postseasons. I said Heat in six before the series started because I didn’t anticipate Polar Bears, stage fright and forest fires. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!  

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