|"Who here? Oh I gotta go the work tonight playboy!"|
Well playboy the difficulties seemed to disappear for Roy Hibbert on Wednesday night. Not only did he pull up with the fellas but he was drivin’ the whip. Then he pulled a Ludacris on a boy and started slammin’ Cadillac doors as he put up 28 points, grabbed 9 rebounds, blocked 2 shots and kept boyz from firing on several shots as the Pacers beat the Wizards 86-82 in Game 2 at the crib.
In his previous eight playoff games this dun had a combined 37 points and 24 rebounds! Did I mention that he was 7’2” 290lbs? Because you always need a visual of that playa to really understand the criticism.
In the post-game joint I was point blank with ole boy when I said, “All of the fellas in every barber shop in every hood in America want to know! Where you been bruh?” Then he jumps into the freakin’ ocean on me and says, “David West always talks to me about being the person that rescues yourself when you’re in the middle of the ocean. There’s nobody who can throw a lifesaver or a rope out to help you. So I had to do it myself.” What? How bout givin' me something that the homies can relate to like gettin' a flat tire in the wrong neighborhood with the wrong colored shirt on and AAA is NOT comin' out there. They just lost three drivers last week. They aren't dead they're just lost. This dun is talkin' to me about the ocean and most brothers can't even swim! Tell me about gettin' out of Vice Lord territory with GD Folks colors on.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! When I chopped it up with his agent, David Faulk, before the game and then I saw John Thompson III walk up and wassup a boy. I knew the reinforcements were in the building. So if those two were sittin’ courtside you already know that Big Momma was sittin’ in the ride pattin' her feet and cursin’ like a sailor because she doesn’t like missin’ her shows. And you already know that she had one of those extremely thin tree branches that she’s notorious for pulling out of her purse on a boy like a ninja on deck.
If Roy would have started slow she was gettin’ out of the ride with that dull raggedy house coat on, her rollers and those same slippers she’s been wearing since the civil rights movement bruh! Talk about gettin’ embarrassed! It was goin' down pimpin'!
Every time Roy looked like he was about to slack up John Thompson III pulled out a picture of Big Momma in the ride and that dun would go strong to the basket. He was like, “Leave her alone bruh! I got this tonight!”
Once Roy got goin’ the rest of the boyz went to work too. George Hill dropped off 14 points, Paul George put 11 points, 6 rebounds and 4 dimes in the collection plate. The big homie Lance The Don Dada Mr. #BornReady himself came through the spot with his usual 12 points, 7 rebounds and 5 assists. Now keep in mind that the beer man had to duck a couple of times but it’s cool.
During this entire playoff run what’s been missin’ is Roy bruh! Sure, boyz haven’t played well every night but it’s hard to get loose when five duns pull up and only four cats ever get out of the car. Ole boy has been hidin’ in the back seat every night while his compadres are gettin’ worked over in the middle of the street. It unacceptable playboy and Big Momma was NOT playin’ last night! You know the drill, “If I gotta get up! It’s gone be a problem up in here!”
Trevor Ariza went to work on these boyz in Game 1 and wasn’t even in the building last night. The Pacers tied him up in a basement somewhere in Haughville as he only managed 6 points on 2-8 shooting. John Wall got jumped standin’ in line at Long’s Donuts because you know they only take cash and it was bound to happen. He only had 6 points too. The big boy Gortat went to work with 21, Nene had 14 and Bradley Beal hit ‘em off with 17. However, the Pacers are cool as long as the other duns don’t get loose.
Now the series shifts to DC for games 3 and 4 and guess who’s fired up about it? Big Momma!! Because now she’s gotta fly out there and sit in the car again to make sure this boy goes to work. She doesn’t like flying because it gets her pressure up and her sugar starts actin’ funny. And when her sugar starts actin’ funny she gets gas real bad; and when she gets gas real bad her pressure goes up. So keep Big Momma’s pressure from goin’ up bruh and just go to work! So expect Roy to get busy like Joeski Love and the brand new dance called the Pee Wee Herman ('87)! “Get Busy Y’all!” And stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!
Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!