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" Swagger is merely having the ability to walk into a room and being able to change the atmosphere in it without saying a word!" -JayGraves-

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Monday, May 12, 2014

Code Red (How the serious threat of Big Momma has the Pacers ballin'out now)

"Man I'm glad y'all didn't let her in bruh! We got you dawg!"
Bear Grylls, the British adventurer, once said, “Survival can be summed up in three words – never give up. That’s the heart of it really. Just keep trying.” Winston Churchill kept it simple when he said, ‘Never, never, never give up.” Then Harriet Beecher Stowe, the famous abolitionist and author, got emotional and said, “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”

The Indiana Pacers must have been listenin’ to ole Harriet because they erased a 19 point third quarter deficit to beat the Washington Wizards 95-92 to take a 3-1 lead in the Eastern Conference semi-finals. Was it playoff experience for the Pacers or was it playoff inexperience for the Wizards playboy? That's the question that inquiring minds wanna know. Well…not really bruh, it just sounded good.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The fact that the Pacers are up 3-1 now tells a boy all he needs to know. When Indiana decides to play ball they’re an extremely good team. There’s a reason why they were the No.1 seed in the East. Boyz just forgot that they were capable of playin' well because they haven’t been doin’ it for a while. Now that it’s Po Pimp status, “Do or Die,” they’re playin’ at the level that we saw prior to the All-Star break.

When the ride pulled up on Sunday night all five starters got out including ole dull car sittin’ Roy Hibbert. Remember I told you that Big Momma has been camped out, in front of the Verizon Center in my Bernie Mac voice, “Bucket Naked,” with some combat boots on, a heavy duty sports bra and her rollers in the ’76 Nova since Friday with the “Wish Factor.” She was like, “I wish a boy 'would' not show up tonight and put up a 0 double-double again! Ima come in there and embarrass him and his boyz.”

With the threat of her kickin’ in the front door and actin’ a fool Roy delivered again in Game 4. This dun put up 17 points, grabbed 9 rebounds and had 2 blocks. Paul George reminded boyz of why they were proppin’ him at the beginning of the season by goin’ to work on the Wizards. He finished with 39 and 12! He shot 70 percent from 3 goin’ 7 of 10 from behind the arc bruh. Talk about trippin’?

His Big Momma must have been in the ride with Roy’s. They both got out of the car and simply knocked on the door at half-time when the Pacers were down 17. Cats looked out and saw those duns standing out there naked with war paint on and told the security to stall ‘em. We got this bruh. All hands on deck “Code Red!” Code Red? That’s short for “Big Momma’s bout to act a fool on a boy real quick like. So whatever you’re doin’ you better stop and get yo butt in gear."

Don’t look at me funny bruh, you’re mother has been up to the school before with that raggedy house coat on, cursin’ with the cigarette hangin’ out of her mouth carrying a belt with no buckle on it too. She took the buckle off years ago because she hit your older brother in the arm with it. Bruised him up pretty good too. She’s got a jailhouse tattoo to prove it. Don’t act like you don’t know what a jailhouse tattoo is either. That’s when a boy just writes a tattoo on you and you look like a fool for the rest of your life.

George Hill finished with 15 while D. West put 14 in the kitty as Lance The Don Dada Mr. #BornReady himself dropped off 8, 9 and 6! Now that dun was dull in the final minute when he turned it over on a wild pass when all he had to do was chill. Like I always say, you gotta take the good with the bad with ole Lance but that one was dull. That joint almost cost them right there. They couldn’t have afforded to have gone into overtime on the road. So luckily they didn’t.

Now what was up with the Pacers bench bruh? They had all of 2 freakin’ points! While the Wizards bench put up 32! The group of senior citizens for Washington which comprises of Andre Miller (38), Al Harrington (34) and Drew Gooden (32) combined for 28 points, 13 rebounds and 6 dimes. Wheredeydodatat?

When the Pacers return home for Game 5 on Tuesday everybody’s Big Momma will be sittin’ outside deep in a ’73 Buick station wagon with the wood panel doors, smokin’ Benson Hedges Gold, drinkin’ Michelob and eatin’ Funions! What’s up with the Funions bruh? And you already know that nobody’s gonna be dressed appropriately. So act like you don’t know if you want to.

It’s a closeout game so you already know boyz will get embarrassed if they don’t take care of business. It only takes one time in a man's life to get hit with a Code Red and you don’t ever wanna go there again. So therefore, the Pacers will close these duns out in 5 and sit in the cut the rest of the week. They better figure out how to keep from turning the ball over before they walk into the Eastern Conference Finals because 18 will get you blown out against a better team, especially against that Philistine and Co. down in Miami! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!

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