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" Swagger is merely having the ability to walk into a room and being able to change the atmosphere in it without saying a word!" -JayGraves-

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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Retention Ponds (Why the Hawks were able to put that thang on the Pacers in Game 5)

"Dude! These boyz could literally bury us on Stone Mountain Thursday!"
I had to make my weekly barber shop stop on my way down to Bankers Life Fieldhouse and I don’t even have hair bruh. When I walked in these cats were arguing about struggling. Simone Weil, the French philosopher, said, “In struggling against anguish one never produces serenity; the struggle against anguish only produces new forms of anguish.” George A. Sheehan, the famous author on the subject of running, put the dice down and said, “Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.” Then Brene Brown, the famous research scholar, poured out a lil’ liquor for all of the dead homies when she said, “It’s hard to practice compassion when we’re struggling with our authenticity or when our own worthiness is off-balance.”

Well playboy...the Indiana Pacers worthiness is completely off-balance right now. After gettin’ the doors blown off of them at the crib 107-97 by some duns that were six games under .500 that barely made the playoffs; they find themselves down 3-2 and facing elimination on Thursday in the “A.” Believe me, the final score was not indicative of the beating that these boyz took in their front yard with Big Momma watching. Trust me on that.

The Eastern Conference’s No.1 seed is struggling with the neighborhood push over. These boyz have completely reversed roles up in this piece. After finishing the first quarter leading by one, 21-20, the Pacers got bullied in the middle of school by the dun that was simply tired of boyz disrespecting them.

The Pacers never made it to Chemistry class on Monday bruh. As they were headed to Chem 101 the Hawks ran up on the side of ‘em and knocked their books out of their hands by going on a 41-19 second quarter run. They went 13-16 from the field and 9-11 from behind the arc. That’s 81 percent shooting in both categories bruh! Who does that? A boy that ain’t scared that’s who!

Mike Scott came out of the bathroom on these cats scoring all 17 of his points in the second quarter alone. He went 5-5 from three in that period and finished the game 5-6 from that distance. Ole boy was unconscious out there! With that being said, the kids rockin’ the blue and gold Polo’s and K-Swiss’ never recovered.

When they bent over to pick up their books Paul Millsap kicked them in the butt with 18 points and 8 rebounds, Kyle Korver slapped their hats off as they stood up with 16 points while shooting 50 percent from three. Then Shelvin Mack put a whoopee cushion in their seats when he lit ‘em up for 20! Foolishness I say! Straight foolishness! The regular season school yard bully is gettin’ his lunch money ran by the cat that boyz mushed in the face all year.

I told you boyz that the Pacers got out of Atlanta alive on Saturday but they still had on their hospital gowns with their butts hangin' out and you thought I was hatin’! They’ve been exposed by the duns that boyz least expected. Now they’ve gotta show up in the “A” and represent or get buried on Stone Mountain. It’s just that simple.

The shameful part about this game is that all of the Pacers’ starters put up a fight in the hallway but ole dull Roy Hibbert. Everybody finished in double figures but him! As a matter of fact, that dun had NO figures like Taylor Swift and Katy Perry bruh. He at least needs to have somewhat of a figure like Molly Cryus! But on some real talk, at 7'2" 290lbs he needs to have a figure like Beyonce or Kim Kardashian pimpin'!

Paul George led the Pacers with 26 and 12 while David West was pulling boyz off with 16-7 and 7. George Hill and Lance The Don Dada both caught a few boyz in the jaw with 16 apiece as C.J. Watson at least kept from smelling the fake flower to get water in the face by puttin’ up 15. While everybody’s wrestling in the hall Roy is sittin’ in the nurse’s office faking a stomach ache. That dun had ZERO points and ZERO rebounds on 12 minutes of playing time.

Here’s my diehard Roy Hibbert fan in full out #55 gear complete with the jersey and shorts lookin’ like he’s about to play but he sittin’ in the nose bleeds with Ms. Ruthie’s oxygen tank last week. “Hey man Roy didn’t play but 12 minutes! All of the other starters played a minimum of 32 minutes. So he didn’t have time to get started!” What? That’s because he won’t get out of the freakin’ car you idiot!

Then he’s got the nerve to be on the sideline when the Pacers were making a run in the fourth quarter acting like he was in “Bring it on” or something. That dun was the biggest cheerleader I’ve ever seen. Get this bruh, a 7'2" 290lb cheerleader?

On Monday he drove all the way to school, got out of the car finally and when the boyz from the Dirty started swingin’ he ran to Miss McGillicuddy’s room from the Little Rascals holding his stomach. "Don't drink the milk! Why? It's spoiled!" You gotta be at least 45 to get that one bruh! Lol!

Like I said last week, its Po Pimp right now, “Do or Die!” In order to win in Atlanta on Thursday they’re gonna need Twista to spit that third verse for real! Otherwise, they’ll be going fishing in the retention pond in the projects. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

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